Waiting to exhale....

It has been a difficult few weeks for me..

sighsss....


Cleaning new house.. moving things.. buying new things.. searching for things... not so good on the work front too..work load getting more and more.. they say things gets lethargic come end of the year ? well if that is a syndrome its not happening to me this year..... it would seem that everyone is trying to finish things they took their time with in the first place and decided oh she is going on leave lets get her to finish it instead ..and the work load is tripled just like that..

no amount of ranting will resolve it.. what will resolve it is to put my nose on the grind and finish it on time ... because i am going back home.. to unwind.. and until i take that road/ flight (undecided to go by road of plane) home..only then can i exhale...

sighsssssss....

Pardon me.. just needed to vent.. meanwhile enjoy your holidays people you deserve it!

A parody of Beyonce's single ladies by JT on SNL

This is absolutely hillarious.. enjoy folks!

Thoughtlessness....

Got this from an email forwarded to me ... it surely did touch my heart.. a single action done in less than a minute could change the lives of so many people.. a thoughtless act done by one person could affect the lives of more than one... something to ponder about....

The message :

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny,
are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'


I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical

state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the

life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body o f the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

For those who prefer to think that God is not watching over us.... go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us... pass this on.

The value of a man or woman resides in what he or she gives, not in what they are capable of receiving... repost it as a story that touches your heart.

*sighs *

Hope Won

On the historic day of 5th November 2008, Hope won!

The victory of this person is now preserved in the annals of history to be the first African-american who became the President of the U. S of A. From the start people were weary but what is so obvious is this, the people do not want another Bush administration in the white house and people are ready for change. Enough with invading and "colonizing" other countries, lets get back to the basics and concentrate on what really matters their people and how they relate to the rest of the world.

To me personally , I am happy because from his speeches I feel that he is a reasonable man, a thinking man he unifies the people that transcends across the board regardless of color , religion and political believes. I think looking at how the Americans behaved during the results they felt the same way too. I know some of my fellow country man and adopted place say why are you so affected by this.. he is not your president. To them my answer is this..I care that he is being elected because I know that country's policy will affect the rest of the world. I also can't help drawing parallels to JFK for some reason. That he is charismatic and calm and fair appealed to me, that he is able to tell off the press for not going down and doing the dirty when the oppositions running mate's daughter got pregnant out of wedlock, tells me he is a fair man with integrity. The fact that he has respect for other religion and understands other cultures assures me. He unified his people and they feel that they are ready to take the journey with him.

In this difficult time of financial upheavals we need a rational man. I hope his administration will be able to guide his people and the rest of the world through this very difficult time. I hope he fulfills his promise and if he cant at least take a step on the right direction. Hope Won and I hope the dreams materializes.

Congratulations Barack Obama I am proud to be able to witness this history.

Apple Sweet and other goings on..

Yes... a lot had happen.. my gradual or rather sudden change to a Macbook ..had to master it and still having a headache on how to transfer my old emails to Mac.. a lot of adjustment and you would still need to get a hang of things..however, once you are used to it .. its easy peasy and damn cool too. Main reason for conversion to mac was.. it rarely crashes and less threat of virus.. my darling old dell crashed 4 times within the span of 2 years and revived back from the dead... am gonna miss him.. well just a little...hehe.

Our house got broken into..and and the creep stole Hub's macbook.. the burglar apparently came in through small windows at the staircase which was not grilled. It took us a while to find out..mainly because they did not take a lot of things. The morning after the incident, as I was getting ready to shower and get dress for work,I saw lilD's diaper bag in another room when I had put the bag on the sofa outside our room the night before..in my mind I did wander why and how it got there but did'nt think anything was untoward.

You see Hubs uses Lil'd changing room as his computer room of sorts..ie. he has his desk top and whatever paraphernalia'a there .. normally he would charge his Macbook there but that nite he decided to charge it in the other room..anyhow the next morning he asked me or rather if I had seen his laptop .. see hubs downloads UFC (Ultimate fighting champion), a big fan of that show so the first thing he would do after he awaken is to check on his downloads..anyway , I said his macbook must be in the other room he checked and it was no where to be found.. that's when it struck me something really had happen.. I said it must be burglars.. why ? coz the maid complained when I sent lilD down for breakfast that someone opened two of the little windows at the stairs and it was so tough to close it.. I thought oh must be my pa in law.. but that confirmed my suspicions , it also explains why lilD's bag was in the other room.. after that all hell broke loose.. up and down we checked if anything else was stolen..nada ...only the laptop it was perplexing! there was a dvd player that could be stolen.. hubs tissot watch near his desktop which was lying around, a microwave oven that's still in the box which could be sold as brand new..(well it was brand new , hubs won it in one of the golf tourney's lucky draw) . On top of that the maids said.. the latch at the kitchen door which would normally be latched was opened but the door was locked and they said 3 cans of soya bean was thrown outside and on the kitchen counter (we had cartons of soyabean and other fizzy drinks from raya)..the maids thought it was us or my brother in law.

*sighs* my pa in law rang the police and lilD made friends with the policewoman who came.. but other than that don't think they did anything other than printed what can be printed from the window and did the necessary reports..that was the end of that.. poor hubz had to get another lappy ..he bought the Macbook pro *green with envy* but sakit kepala also lah have to pay for additional that we never expected damn burglars *$£^£$%^£* ok thats enough expletives..but I was freaked out and angered ! these people don't give a damn about our safety and care the least about our conveniences as long as theirs is served.

You know what freaked me out further? two nights before the burglary I wanted to go to the bathroom, it must be around 1.30am this was on Saturday night erm Sunday morning I guess. Didn't hear anything because I was watching my Korean drama online.. these shows are addictive! ..anyway when I stepped outside.. I was shocked because it was pitch dark..wondered why ? I had the fleeting thought it might be..Burglars..but since I was already sleepy and really needed the bathroom I went back into the room and took out the torchlight thinking oh it's just a blown out bulb..but when I checked the switch which is by the stairs , I saw that it had been switched off.. the staircase lights is never ever switched off.. its on from dusk till dawn in the house for as long as I have lived there.. but i thought hmm maybe my ma in law switched it off for some reason.. so i Switched it on again thinking its too dark and dangerous to be left switched off just in case we needed the bathroom. Nothing happen that night but the funny thing was the next morning the bulbs really did fizzle and needed to be changed so didnt think anything of that incident . But now with all the goings on I can't help but wonder why the staircase light was switched off ?? that's still a mystery .. I wish we had cctv but alas did not think we need it. My assumption..the creep came in to check things out but got disturbed ? well maybe its perfectly innocent but it was just too much of a coincidence right ?

After the break-in incident within a week.. another one occurred that really freaked me out! Why? well the first break in incident was on a Monday.. the 2nd incident was on Friday night the morning of Saturday..my helper told me that she woke up feeling like she needed to go relieve herself..but she was lazy to get up..I think everyone has had that experience right.. anyway while she was deliberating on whether to get up or not..she heard the door to their bathroom being rattled, well not quite rattled more like it was tried to see if it opens ...she slowly got up and peaked through the windows (she sleeps under the window) and what did she see.. a man in baklava with a machete around his waist trying the door to see if its open. Their bathroom can be accessed from outside and I can only assume the creep tried to gain entry after seeing that the staircase windows had been grilled.

Thank the Almighty that the bathroom door was also latched from the inside. Well suffice to say my maid almost peed in her pants too afraid to move or make a sound ..the guy gave up and eventually left through the back. Which reminds me I must give them my old mobile phone since its just lying around upstairs so that they can contact us if anything happens downstairs..need to get a sim card for them.

The next morning, when they went around the house and found a blue cloth shoved in the mango tree branches , we know it was never there before so we assume so that it can be kept in readiness for his next opportunity , maybe something to shove on ones faces so we don't scream or can be easily used as something to tie the occupants up. God forbid! the police wasn't interested in them so we burnt it..oh the smell that came from them had really strong chemical smell. *shudder*

We rang the police , again they came over and looked around, prints taken again but that's as far as it goes. At the very least we register our complaints and put it on record that this had happened.The fact that now we know they carry weapons with them scare the crap out of me seeing that we have an infant and the elderly around the house ,my pa and ma in law is still young but surely no match for a determined robber who will use whatever means necessary to not get caught! we asked the police to step up on patrols.. according to the police..houses that can be seen from highways and are easily accessible and are easy targets so the best we can do is equip ourselves with Burglar deterrents like grills and ensure a well lit house, even a burglar alarm *sighs*..well I hope whoever it was gets caught soon and stop being a menace to my family and the society!

It had been a week of loss of a Mac and the welcoming of two new macs , sweet sweet apple. Meanwhile, we now have some use of Hubs golf club.. safely tucked where it can be used at a moments notice in our room.

Be safe folks.

Z hearts Agnes Monica

Last nite we were invited to one of the corporate functions for a Raya celebration of sorts. Was reluctant to go at first but we were informed that this Company normaly gives good entertainment and great lucky draws.. the main reason I went was because Agnes monica was coming and it was indeed the best part of the nite.

Her show was a blast! very energetic and her voice control.. omg.. after all those energetic dances??! I wonder how she does it.. I saw some live performance she did which was erm.. lack lustre because she was so out of breath but one thing for sure ..last nite she was super duper fit!..she sang plenty and worked hard to engage the audience.. good stuff..only managed to take pics from my mobile.. will post that when I know how to hehe..meanwhile enjoy the video a song called "cinta di ujung jalan" in one of the functions in Indonesia last year... this was one of the many songs she sang last nite, got the video on youtube which I have to say is my absolute favorite of the moment. Enjoy..

Discovery Channel: I Love the World

I saw this on youtube.. and its one of those jingles that sticks around in your head!!! I love it.. enjoy!

Selamat Hari Raya everyone...

Hari raya morning ...the time where most families who celebrate would wake up early in the morning to get ready .. the men and sometimes the whole family goes to the mosque for Eid prayers.. but for people like me who has a small child stay at home to ensure the little one is ready .. can't very well bring a toddler to the mosque right..maybe when he is a lil bit older.

This year I am celebrating with my in-laws... Hubs and I had agreed to implement the rotation system when it comes to celebrations, more democratic and fair seeing that we have families in 2 different countries. Anyway..for some reason this year I have absolutely no mood to celebrate .. preparations is just so so.. and I managed to get a ready made baju at the last minute for a steal. ready made because I was too late in sending my materials and most tailors had declined.Trust me they take their raya very seriously over here. I managed to do two baju ways away from where we live but well.. the baju kurong is erm... ok enuff said.

This year is also the first in history..why because I have never been ill on the first day of raya.. I have been feeling urgh lately.. and my cough has worsen to make matters worst...I woke up with red eyes.. blood shot eyes.. gritty eyes... arghhhhhh! there goes my mood. I went about getting ready as usual got lilD ready and wait for my husband to take us to his grandmothers house as is the tradition.

We stayed as long as I am comfortably able to , after much merriment ..well sort of in my case ( I didnt eat as much as I would have thought I will..) I had to scrap plans to go visit my people (my side of the family) . We went back home at 11.30am ..sampai the house we anak-beranak slept until 2pm . That my friends..was how my first day of raya went.

That aside I am sure I am not too late in saying "Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin" to all love from Z, Hubz and Lil D

A Birthday gift

It has been ages since I last posted.... but reading my Birthday gift spurred me to make an entry today...see, bestie sent me 2 books she sent them to me ages ago but have only managed to read it today.. in between my feverish sleep and lying down without lilD jumping all over me.. (I locked myself in the other room..he thought I went to work ..had to do it for rest at least for a few hours).

See, LilD was down with bad tonsillitis for about a week.. poor baby but poor mommy too because poorly baby means no rest for mommy.. had slept on average 3 hours per night on top of work load and fasting and hormonal issues etc etc.. it is only natural I would "inherit" the tonsillitis from him.. I so know how he feels now.. it hurts badly to swallow and have been in and out of fever for the past 2 days so I took a day off sick.

I digress.. the book I read today was the Kite Runner ,authored by Khaled Hosseini, an American-Afghan writer. For a debut novel and extremely powerful one I think. I am not going to do a review after all the book came out quite some time ago and have been adapted to a movie .. but I do want to express how I felt after reading the book. First reaction was..sadness..and loss.. despair..I cant really explain it.. this book to me is the epitome of friendship, trust, loyalty, betrayal, bigotry, racism , innocence lost and atonement, hope and miracle..it left me feeling outraged ,angry but helplessly entertained I couldnt put the book down. To me it certainly did put a face to what we hear daily on the news perhaps that is what people need to do to be heard.. humanizing the problems certainly ensure people identify and understand better if not all of it.

I am outraged that such monstrosity are condoned and absolutely flabbergasted on how people can "think" they are the absolute law based on their interpretation of the book of god. I am even more outraged that people chose to look elsewhere when this is happening right from under their noses. The book is fiction but it is not something we have not heard being done in parts of the world that is being oppressed. The lives that are affected ,the children who had to grow up and are being subjected to monstrous things ,appalling things.

In this month of Ramadhan.. I pray to Allah for the betterment of all and the safety and well being of all children in the world. I pray that there is peace and everyone can enjoy going about their lives in an orderly and safe manner.

To bestie.. thank you so much for giving me this book .. I was so emotionally drained that I was pondering about it through sungkai until now... I finished the book in 1 day no mean feat between sleeping fever off and entertaining lil D ..but i couldnt put the book down..May Allah bless you.

To the Hassan's , Sohrab's and Amir's of the world over.. may Allah protect you and keep you safe.

To Lil D may you grow up in peace and harmony and not have to go through the monstrosity that mankind can be capable of and forever and after be protected by Allah SWT.

A Baduk Ad

As promised the video...

What Does Ramadhan Mean to you....

Things was hectic on the week before Ramadhan , mainly because we had to produce a short clip to be aired for Ramadhan.. we had a brainstorming session managed to find a videographer and the rest as they say is history. The concept is not new but I think it is represents what the meaning of this month truly is.

O ,Hjh Is and I were part of the production crew most of the time that is.. I enjoyed doing it too , but its so way off tangeant to what I am actually doing for my place of work ehhehe. Memories of us buying food for the "sungkai" shoot, setting up at the pasar gadong with onlookers curiousity is also part of the experience.On one of the final shoots I remembered how the rain was pouring and O had to stop over at my house after the shoot (she was sending me home) because the roads was'nt visible not to mention the thunder bolt lightnings happening at the same time.. freaky!

We were'nt too happy with the final clip and could not do much as time was against us.. we know we could do so much better but still a job well done . Will post the video later..

Iklan Merdeka Petronas 2008

This year I did not feel the patriotism and the happiness of Merdeka mainly due to the goings on back home in fact all I felt was erm..nothingness. Several factors I think brought about these feelings.. the fact that Sabah and Sarawak was only included in Malaysia on the 16th of September hence the real Merdeka should be recognized and celebrated on that day. The 16th of September is celebrated as the official birthday of the TYT (Tuan Yang Terutama) or Governor of Sabah at present.

Generally, the goings on on the political front and overall restlessness and unhappiness with price hikes despite a lil reduction of petrol prices back home contributes to it. So in order to celebrate the "official" Merdeka I am posting a piece of work from the Petronas Merdeka Advert . A good mix of humor and seriousness conveyed lightly but I couldnt avoid the water works being turned on. Perseverance is the key word.. a mix of emotions but at the end of the day it is all about our will and perseverance to preserve how we want to live our lives and how we want our country to be and what values we want to inculcate in our Children the future of the Country.

Enjoy!

NEW LOOK

As you may have noticed , I am using a new banner ..the banner was done for me by O :) thanks heaps O really appreciate it . l will belanja you lunch hehe. As per usual life is hectic for me and I am really looking forward to Ramadhan..I dont know.. ramadhan just gives me the calmness and really for me its the time when I concentrate more on family if that makes sense. Let me explain why.

It is during ramadhan that all muslims are duty bound to fast ..and that for every good deed you do, you will be rewarded 10 times for them. Now that is a lot like collecting bonus points. Time to top up people . Pahala is something you would not want to reject. It is a time also that we get to go back early from work and in my case cook for my family as opposed to my lil'd keeping different time for dinner from us ( he eats earlier) . It is in Ramadhan that 98% we will spend time breakfasting with our loved ones and generally spend time with each other more instead of being cooped up in the office from what seems like sun up till sun down.

My point is.. Ramadhan is all about taking care of our spiritual wellbeing as well as our own and our family's wellbeing.

So here is wishing you all " Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan".

4 days 3 nights

That was how long I had to be away from LilD and Hubz. I was not well when I left and the day before LilD had a temperature .. I was torn, how can I leave my baby when he is sick.. thankfully he was fine on the day I flew off.. I was worried but I didn't expect to feel the way I felt when I was about to leave.. I have been warning LilD for days that I need to go to work somewhere far away for 3 sleeps. I don't know if he understood it but the period before the actual flight he was extra extra clingy to me and that worried me.

The morning of my departure ..lilD woke up quite late as he had had a bad night due to his temperature, he woke up fine Alhamdulillah.. so when its actually time for me to leave.. I took him in my arms .. kissed him like a 100 times around his face, his head and hugged him tight.. and when I was about to turn to mush with the "pain" and the agony of leaving and missing him already.. he took my face in his hands and smiled and said mommy...my heart melted and I burst out crying!! yes the mommy was crying .. very strong tears.. I gave him a final kiss and give him to his dad before I disgraced myself in front my in-laws.. my mom in law had to assure me that they are around to care for him.. the list that I gave and the reminders I keep giving was enough to drive a person up the wall I am sure! I guess I felt that way because I have only ever been apart from LilD for 1 night in his 2 years .

It got better on the way to the airport until at the airport I saw my friend with her daughter who was 3 months older than lilD.. I started tearing up! Sighs.. but yeah it got better..I was feeling rotten by then.. flu is getting full blown, my gums were flaring and felt a bit swollen.. so I guess that all contributed to the bleurgh feeling I had.

KL was KL.. I was looking forward to the conference and it didn't disappoint .. some were not that good but to a degree it helped enhanced my knowledge and affirmed what I have already practiced at work. Work interupted me constantly though , understandable but irked me because a meeting was scheduled so urgently without thinking of the convenience of others around them.. but of course what the boss says goes. Had to do a lot of remote work.. advices and such like.. the perils of technology sometimes huh..thank god its sorted, my colleague G was a gem, helped me out through it all.

The delegates from the conference

Did not do a lot of shopping ,no time and well, I had a really bad cough and lost my voice as well.. had the chills and I just wanted to lie down and sleep it off most times..but soldier on I must.. to my dismay when I got back most of the stuff I bought was not for me but for LilD and Hubz..I guess that goes to show the priority you put on others when you are away from them. Perhaps its like a subliminal thought to want to ensure that just because you are away you are not out of their lives.. erm.. yeah psycho babble which has no merit whatsoever.. but those are my thoughts..

Anyhoo the reunion when I flew back was sweet..LilD saw me ,hugged me and put his head on my shoulders and absolutely refused to let go of me until we reached home.. warms the coccles of my heart and sooths the soul but most of all what you feel is you are finally home hehehe.. that was only for 3 nights mind you imagine if it had been a month .. I can assure you I will be finding alternatives or get lilD to come with me as well.

This trip also turned out to be a reunion of sorts.. Met my Alma mater mates and god knows how long it has been since we last meet.. it was fun catching up and exchanging cards and news.. there was a lot of picture taking and a lot of chat about where are you working now,how old is your kid and when did you get married and how did you meet your husband etc. etc. etc.

Well it was a good trip considering and shall look forward to another reunion ..this time with LilD and Hubz with me.

08.08.08

A multitude of events happend on the date above, historic milestones on every event.

First event

That date marks the 2nd Birthday of my first born..my pride and joy. Lil'D had a good Birthday albeit marked only with close family members from my side of the family at home but he had a ball , oh the laughter and voice level was so high you could not hear yourself talk . Cakes, balloons and good company what more could you ask for ey.. its done simply as opposed to the big bash I would've liked to throw but due to Hubz first cousins Nikah (solemnisation of marriage) that day and we were heavily involved in the preparations it was just not plausible to have a big bash everyone would've been just so tired. Seeing that LilD has cousins whose birthday is before his , we might throw them a party at Jungle Gym, I am sure the kids will have an even better time .

A historic milestone for Lil'D because he is no longer a baby but a Toddler and that happen on a very very nice date too , it sure looks purty on the cake :) but I am thankful.. thankful that Allah Taala has bestowed me lilD, May Allah SWT bless my child with all things great and protect him from all things bad.

Second event

As I mentioned .. it was also Hubz 1st cuzzy's Nikah. It was a mad rush to get things organize and I had to go into work for a meeting and tie up loose end seeing that I will be flying off Monday and wont come in to the office since my flight is in the morning. Anyhoo, back to the wedding , it was a simple affair but boy was it a super duper hot day yesterday , it did not help that I was coming down with flu and just do not feel well generally . Must be the lack of sleep. They rented a bus for the rombongan and all the hantaran to be transported to the Brides house and it makes perfectly good sense to rent one so that they won't be bothered with parking problems etc.

I can tell ya...there must have been heaps of weddings happening yesterday . So many choosing to solemnize their union on this unique date. After all this date comes once in a life time.

Third event

The Beijing Olympics also occurred , it was absolutely super impressive! I am just amazed at how gorgeous the opening ceremony show was, it was produced and directed by the epic film director Zang Yi Mou... he married the traditional and the modern and the result was simply breath taking and amazing. I was told that it was the most expensive production and could not be matched by any previous Olympics. I can see why too.

3 events in 1 weekend.. I now need a good sleep and a massage just to recuperate.. Phew!

Flowers, glue gun and creations

Hubz 1st Cuz is getting married on 08.08 (on Lil D's Bday) and I was given the grand task to *drumroll* design/gubah hantaran lol!.. yes moi! (as a background it is customary in Malay Weddings to have an exchange of gifts /hantaran between the couple , do check out the link.. some pretty designs :-)) ...only two gubahan mind you because the general consensus was that each will bring home 2 to complete, if I had to do all 11 *faint*!

I do not dabble in the arts and crafts because you will find me either with lil'D, reading or in front of my Lappy most times. Growing up I loved to draw and sketch have an appreciation of arts and design but thats about it..on the other hand my Mom lovesssss this stuff.. the hantaran for my wedding and most in the family was done by her. My Mom loves art , she draws , paints, does Copper art once a upon a time and of course her flower arranging. I think some of that interest does rub off on me.. and it emerges when I am challenged with such task. I do love how designers work.. I know how it excites me when O, my colleague and resident designer is in the middle of her creative mode..I wish sometimes I am in a different profession.. perhaps I will explore it in future but for now will stick it out with what I've got ..perhaps future plans on the side and later on something to fall back on when I retire ..now that will be ways away but you know what they say .. you gotta think of the future !

Anyhoo.. back to the hantaran..I was tasked to design/gubah two trays (dua dulang) the dulang for watch and purse and a dulang for makeup and toiletries. You must appreciate that I have never done one from scratch before.. so what does a girl do ? pour into magazines and surf the net to find ideas and some tips as to how its done. I came across a few and there are a wealth of information in terms of ideas of designs etc.

I traipsed to the local haberdashery for some trimmings styrofoam glue gun butterflies etc etc and assigned the best time to put the stuff I got as well as the stuff that was given to me together... saturday PM while Lil'D was taking his nap I started assembling.. I tell ya . . the glue gun was the bestest invention ever for this stuff hehe I love it! I started at 1.40pm ..the creatives juices just flow and by 4.45pm I was done. Lil'D woke up in between so had to entice him with juice for him to play with his nanny downstairs before I can finish up..

The result..two creations that are not too shabby even if I say so myself.. though it was erm.. not proffesional but I think it has its charm. The 1st creation a basket that I had to "dress" with organza and trimmings including ribbons and flowers with the makeup in a box and perfume and assorted lip gloss etc laid in the basket filled with tissue paper and organza to cover it and around it as fillers to add more dazzle, crystal flowers glued on to the Organza in the basket and the 2nd creation was a styrofoam tray with flowering shrubs and flowers with butterflies grazing around it, the watch was double sided taped on top of a box which I wrapped with crepe paper and glue gunned on the styrofoam base scattered around are crystal flowers . The Groom's sister liked it so I shall just take it as acceptable work. ..can't post the pics yet on account of not being able to find DigCam cable to upload pics but no worries will bug hubz tomorrow. Once its uploaded will post it !

*updated 050808*

As promised here are the pics folks.. I know I know much ado about nothing right but can't help but be proud its my first attempt hehe..excuse the poor quality of the pics ..enjoy \o/ erm.. what do u think should I embelish/vamp it up more? still got time :P

The creations!

Funny Animation

Lets chill with the chosen one! another gem :)

Where is the love..

It has been sometime since I last updated this chamber of my thoughts..from getting flu , which was also caught by lil D on top of work and politics at work.. I find myself extremely exhausted .. no energy even to vent.. add that with a dash of Malas and a touch of escapism in the form of Japanese drama online that maketh the lack of entries.

I miss blogging as it is a form of therapy for me..so here I am..this entry is a vent entry if you are not in the mood to read about the mad rantings of Z sila click X or go surf another blog. You have been forewarned.

Now where shall I start.. I will be flying off to the Capital of Malaysia in a months time for a conference and are so looking forward to it. The procedure to adhere before you can go to such conference in this place of work are as follows :

1) Fill up a training form with conference/course/meeting title and the justifications of why you simply must go to this one as opposed to tonnes others that is on offer. That requires time and effort
2) Send said form to your Boss for approval and support
3) Said form will be presented in the training committee's meeting
4) Said Committee will approve/disprove and later get the big guy (CEO) to sign off for the big go.

In my case the committee doesn't see the need for me to learn more about corporate governance but the big guy decided to approve and i get to go anyway. However, that's just simply not the issue.. the issue was the lodgings that I was supposed to be booked in during the conference. I received my approval letter one fine day and what did I see , I am supposed to stay 15 mins away from the venue of the conference which is a hotel itself..what the mackerel! Imagine the inconvenience.

Being concerned I proceeded to clarify this matter with my training head and his reasonings was initially "oh we dont have corporate rate "..but when quized on how much difference he said oh about $40 ..I said I would gladly pay the difference and he say that would be up to me..but he said we are just trying to save money for the company.. He said if you stay at the hotel we picked for you it would be easy for you to shop.. I told him in no uncertain terms that that was simply just not the issue!

When asked what was my entitlement in terms of lodgings he became defensive ..he very firmly and clearly told me to my face that I am not entitled to stay in the same hotel of the conference unless I am a GM. I asked when was this policy imposed because I remember going for another conference not too long ago and was allowed to stay in the same venue as the conference. Training head became defensive and said that is then this is now. He clearly couldn't answer when the policy was made , it certainly was never disseminated to the staff.

What really bugged me was the idiotic reasoning's behind it all.. can you imagine the difference between the supposed lodgings and venue lodgings was just $40 . That amount would be what I roughly would incur in cab fairs in any case especially with the increase of petrol . How is that savings if that really is the real contention. Getting back to training head, he told me to bring my grievance to the HR &Training GM.. So I did. She got a shock to hear about the so called policy (she denied ever making that policy) she promptly changed my lodgings to venue lodgings and instructed Training head to rectify and start booking. Victory for Z but I hated having to do that..I mean imagine had i just accepted the decision I would have to endure the inconvenience of it all.

I thought that was the end of that...5.15pm HR & training GM rang me to convey the message that my particular lodging is booked to the brim and that they are trying to get help from the embassy to secure booking..I mean haiyooo seriously.. I told her that wont be necessary as I had bestie whom I am sure could check out room availability for me. I just had the feeling that this whole little affair has been blown out of proportions its just stupid. Immediately after texting bestie she rang and said yup there are rooms available I mean duh! I suddenly felt like its me against the world and like they are trying to make life difficult for me, would'nt you feel the same way ? Anyway I got that sorted out and yes now I do have a booking reference phew..

Somehow the exchange of words and the whole affair affected me.. spoilt my mood for the weekend in a way as that was at the back of my mind constantly. I know I should not let it get to me but ..cant help it.. anyhoo..training head is all smiley smiley to me lately and asked me if my accomodations are sorted.. whatever..this would probably be the last training I would volunteer myself to go for.. just to save me from the Agro.

That happend the week before..I felt that no matter how proffesional you are or how prompt you are in responding to tasks and resolving tasks people dont really give a toss out of some misguided need to make sure their work is done (as long as they dont get blamed) without really assessing the situation. Cest la vie! I just have to live with it for the time being I guess.

Overall feeling for the week : dissapointment

Eerie tales

"Once upon a time"... Most fairy tales starts with those 4 words..as a child I was a voracious reader.. enid blyton, famous 5 , secret 7, nancy drew , hardy boys and any fairy tale books including volumes upon volumes of encyclopedia that my parents invested for me. I will pour through the pages and loose myself in its contents. When I stayed over at my Gran's I will normally sleep with my one of my aunts if they are in the country or my great grandma. The best part about that is I always get her to tell me stories before I sleep or have a story telling session when we are just lounging around after lunch or dinner in the weekends. The story the Fantastic 4 (click on the link for Fantastic 4 reference) keep asking her to repeat over and over again are her accounts of Cerita Hantu (Ghost stories) . We had a blast listening and later on would not be able to sleep on account of being freaked out beyond believe. Amazingly we still ask for more hehe it must have been the adrenalin rush of being scared out of the our skulls!?

One story that is etched on my memory is that of my great granma's relative in olden Singapore. The story goes that my Great Granma has an uncle or was it cousin? who loves going to town with his buddies. Well if you could call it town in the olden days.. being a young man they would definitely go to weddings and functions where there will be some sort of "joget lambak" (Dance) session . Whenever he goes .. he would always be warned not to stay out too late. At the time they don't have street lights and distances are some. The only method of transportation are you own two feet or bicycles, cars are commodities that not many can afford. He owned a trusted bicycle.

One night after those joget lambak sessions he set out home quite late. He was cycling while whistling..I would guess bahagia as he had had a good time wooing girls at the joget lambak, as he was cycling he saw a young lady standing at the road side as if waiting for someone. She was a beauty red lips fair skin and all. He stopped thinking she must have been from the same function . He asked her why she was waiting alone in the dark .She told him that she was waiting for someone to bring her home and that the person promised to fetch her. He had an eye for pretty ladies and thinking of mengurat (wooing) and being a good Samaritan and all thought perhaps since its late why not send her. She accepted his offer.

She had a realllly lovely heady perfume on and he almost drowned in that scent as soon as she got on his bicycle.. but he also had to break some sweat as she was extra extra heavy despite being tiny and svelte and curvaceous ..read sexy in a nice kebaya and sarong. As he cycled he had a whiff of something ..the smell of rotting flesh..the bicycle suddenly felt light ..when he turned he saw something in white on the air as if the person he had behind him was lifted up to the air..thinking initially she has been pulled up it later dawned upon him that she was actually that thing on the air..one word came to his mind.. Pontianak! That thing starting making screechy wailing sounds ..it was hideous..with long hair , long nails and all.

He cycled fast and later on ditched the bicycle and ran like there is no tomorrow. He pounded on doors to let him in and finally reached his house and pound some more . He screamed and shout for his family to let him in. When he was finally in the house . He got a scolding and his mom told the whole family who was by then awake.. they were told to keep quiet and just read the surah's in particular Al Qursy. The "being" terrorised them for quite sometime..living at the kampong they lived in a typical malay kampong stilt wooden house. The thing was apparently scratching on walls under the floorboards on the roof in between bursts of what the malays call "mengilai" or screeching wailing laughter not unlike the cry of a banshee. The thing went away after a while and the story goes that it will make itself scarce before dawn breaks. Suffice to say that the incident taught him a huge lesson after that. The villagers were all told of the story and was asked to be vigilant and not to stay out too long.

Apparently they were told that the "thing" likes to prey on young men as she died on child birth and was jilted by her lover when she found out she was pregnant or something like that..as i grew up there was so many variants of the reason why the pontianak came to being but the common denominator is that she is gorgeous ,hate men and wants to avenge her death.

Whether this is fact or fiction we enjoyed the stories tremendously. I miss my great granma.. she was a brilliant cook and was ever so happy to indulge us with her stories. I think perhaps I should document what I remember of her stories and preserve it for posterity. I hope you enjoyed this story too.

sighss...

Have you ever felt like in one whole week every minute of the day is spent on something.. from paperwork to consultations to meetings ,discussions. When you thought you have an hour free theres always someone on the phone or IM asking for this and that. I need a break..this knackered lady needs time out..I think I should pamper myself this weekend.

A lot has been happening on the work front.. from mundane and highly entertaining things such as "power struggles" (yes I kid you not), getting an attachment student to "mentor" if you can even call it that and preparation of a particular meeting with the Big Wigs etc. etc. etc. this has somewhat affected my efforts on the challenge bestie and I have agreed upon but persevere I must, I now aim to at least loose something come August.

sighsss..am gonna need to plan lil D's birthday and now apparently we can only have the party after 080808 on account of cousin in law's wedding on that very same date. It also turned out that two of my niece and nephew shares the same birth month as lil D. in fact 6th ,7th and 8th consecutively different year though (no! we did not synchronize timing it was a fluke ok.) I digress..anyhoo hubz and brother in law thought it would make sense for us to have a combine birthday celebrations .. a huge bash with bouncers et all. I am all for it since Ramadhan is around the corner and by then it would've been too late to hold the party. Although.. I have to say..I do have this tugging feeling that it would've lost the magic for lil D already. So I resolve to get him his very own cup cake with two candels on it and his birthday prezzy that night . This will be celebrated at my aunts place.. I just hope theres no function that night! I guess I will make actual plans once I get the actual itenerary for the wedding.

Sighsss.. the saying goes.. if you love what you do .. you will not be going for work..cant remember how that goes but thats roughly how it sounded like.. Well I love what I do but I sure as hell wish I can chill for a bit too. At the end of the day I know I have to thank the Almighty for giving me all the blessings.

and how was your week peeps... have a nice friday!

6 degrees of Separation

Hey peeps...I am sorry for not posting anything the past week.. owing to a hectic schedule + complete lack of inspiration to blog maketh an un-updated blog.

Anyhoo.. amidst all the hoo haa of living my life these past week..it struck me that .. everyone seems to be connected to one another be it blood relations or friend of friends at some point of their lives.. amazing stuff right. I wiki-ed about six degrees of separation and this is what I got:

"Six degrees of separation refers to the idea that, if a person is one step away from each person he or she knows and two steps away from each person who is known by one of the people he or she knows, then everyone is an average of six "steps" away from each person on Earth."

Six degrees of separation diagram

(diagram courtesy of Wikipedia and its sources)

Fascinating stuff ne c'est pas? Am not gonna blog extensively about this however, what i do wanna share with you is this. As you know..I hail from land below the wind... although I have relatives here in the abode of peace I would never expect for them to be in my same workplace.. a naive assumption I guess seeing that my workplace has about 700++ staff. I only realized last week that I had a cousin working on the same floor as I was .. I have worked with him..passed each other going to and from our rooms at the office corridors several times, instructed him etc. and this went on for hmmm.. about half a year and I had absolutely no inkling that he is even remotely related to me.. until recently.

My grandaunt passed on last week.. (may her soul be blessed by Allah SWT) , I told some colleagues that I will be going back slightly early as the funeral will be held later in the day.. that's when my colleague asked... how are you related to "so and so" and asked if i am going back soon. I went huh ? apparently he was also going back early to ensure they get to the house for the funeral. God Almighty! he apparently knows me already.. I was embarrassed to say the least as it is apparent that I don't really know my relatives that well. Good thing that the other relatives don't know about this, they would have a field day. To date I know of 2 relatives already in the same work place by blood or through marriage. Small world this is.

My Gran and my late Grandad got married during the War. She came from Singapore and my Grandad was from Sabah my Great Grandad was originally from Brunei but left for Sabah on business and decided to live there. I digress..the story goes that my Grandad travelled to Singapore to study and asked for her hand in marriage after he heard my Grans voice on the radio reciting the Quran . Truth or not.. my late Grandad would never have "met" or married her for that matter had he not gone to Singapore. When they moved to Land below the wind..My Granddad's step brother later on married my Gran's half sister ! again.. that would not have happend had my Grandad never set foot in Singapore. That would be case no.1.

Case no. 2: my Aunt married her childhood sweet heart and later on.. childhood sweethearts brother married my aunts first cousin. Another sample of how things gets entwined.

Case no.3: my Uncles are mostly married to people from outside of Land below the wind. Most of them would never had met each other if they had not gone for studies overseas and met each other or knows friends or of someone who introduced them or chance meetings that became more than what would be just strangers passing each other .

And Finally Case no.4: Moi! I got married to someone who is totally not of my nationality, has nothing to do with my family already existing in the Abode of peace but whose family knows my family living here.

It's just a wonder to me how at some point in our lives we meet people who happens to know someone we know who knows your family or friends or are even related to. The world is getting smaller precipitated by the progress of technology. Small world indeed.

"The only way out is in.." - Mike Myers

I am anticipating the release of "The Love Guru" after its brief appearance in American Idol ..it promises so much laughter. I know this will be another hit for Mike Myers.. I do Heart Mike Myers.. I have watched most of his material from Wayne's world, Austin Powers, Hat in the box , Shrek (yes only his voice but so infectious right) etc etc.. and now will be catching "The Love Guru".

From saying "Mariska Hargitay" like one would say when one gestures "Namaste" that in itself invites laughter. Yes , he was referring to the Emmy winning Mariska Hargitay of the "law and order" TV series fame. I have absolutely no idea why but seriously funny ! If anyone knows the rationale do put down a comment :P

I caught him on the NBC today show aired over MSN. What he said by way of parting remarks was very intriguing.. " In life you should have love without knowledge than you can have knowledge without love but ultimately you want love with knowledge... the only way out is in" heheh.. maketh that what you will but I think that is so clever..!!

Catch "The Love Guru" airing soon starring Mike, Justin, Jessica to name a few.. I swear they are not paying me for this !

I want that tote!

I had an insanely good conversation with my bestie today.. we were on MSN IM'ng in between my quietly doing work, going to meetings , an obliged to go award ceremonies and discussions throughout the day so basically whenever we do get to IM its mainly to vent ..well more me than her especially when you feel so ARGHHHH with the so many things you have to attend to. By end of the day I have about had it with work..saturated to the point of going catatonic we started the serious business of actual chatting.. unlike the conversations in spurts and monosyllables we had before.

Its amazing what one can come up with in the span of an hour.. but lets just say bestie had 3 BIG ideas, one involving documentation of culinary skills , the other being franchise opportunities and finally an Idea which shall involve determination and resoluteness. I shall leave the first two to her and will support her when the time comes but the last idea involves both of us.

In honour of Lil.D's Birth month ..we aim to loose VIII kgs. Yes. I am consigning this one to posterity so I must be serious about it. It's a contest of sort.. the prize ? we will both share the cost to one Longchamp tote bag...if one fails to meet the kgs required the winner will get the bag.. we haven't decided what happens if we both achieve it.. perhaps I can buy one and she buys one as pressies to ourselves hehe.

The many samples I found from http://www.longchamp.com/ . I personally liked the croc skin one and the violet and lilac coloured ones at the bottom. However, whichever one we get or neither of these will depend on availability and of course affordability :P ehehe .. am excited about this.. wish me luck! oh the race starts Monday :)

Lil'D

Dear all.. this is gonna be a very long post.. something I meant to do for a long time so hang on ..oh a little bit graphic and I don't advice those who refuse to read about births and what nots to go any further than this :P

Let me introduce my Lil D he is now 22 months and are counting the days until he reach 2 on the 08.08.08.

I gave birth to Lil D on the 08.08.06, to what seem to be a happy and sad time for me. Let me explain.. I had a little "show " (some discharge to show that you are about ready to give birth) on the friday and again on saturday but with no contractions . On the Sunday 06.08.06 Hubz and I decided we should go to the Hospital as there were more show.. still no contractions but since we are first time parents we'd rather not chance it by waiting. On to 2nd floor Maternity at RIPAS we went , Hubz had to wait outside while I go and get checked on by the Midwife...she checked and see I was not dilated . She was rough and I didnt like it.. damn painful ok..I thought I could go back home as I do not have any contractions instead she said no you can't go home since you are due and we will ward you.. I hated going into the Common Ward because there was no privacy and people stare at you I suppose thats all you can do when you are warded right. Hubz spent as much as time as possible with me until he had to go home .

I had a steady stream of visitors thinking I have already given birth, sighssss... no rest for the wicked.. first night at RIPAS was comfortable I see a lot of ladies who are admitted because they are about to deliver or they had gestational high blood pressure or just there to wait it out .. like me. In the morning when Dr's made their rounds..there was still no contraction. The Doctor came round to my bed and looked at my Medical History..you see on my last maternity checkup the Doctor told me that she is most certain that I would probably need a Ceasarean Section due to my height (4'10") and the Baby's weight was anticipated to be about 3.3kgs on top of the fact that this is my first baby. I had so wanted natural birth but am I guess at that stage just about ready for everything or anything.. since I dont really know what I am in for.. back to the Doctors round.. she spoke to me and said ok... you might need a CSection however, if you want we can give you a trial first (trial for natural birth) and I agreed. Since I have not experience any contraction after my "show" the Dr.s had decided to induce me.

They had to give me 2 inducements (my first inducement was at 8am and later on again at 4pm) before I had any contractions which started about 8PM.. small back pain really ..but by 12am i was already having contractions 1 minute apart. By this time I have had to call Hubz who was booted out from the Common ward at 9.30pm.

Into the Delivery room I went..my feeling was at the time apprehensive and bracing myself at the same time for what is to come..the Mid-wives asked me the weirdest questions .. did you take SALINDA? (what on earth is that.. ) I had my air selusuh , mobile and my glasses with me . Until they called my Hubz in . They had a baby heart monitor strapped around my tummy and the second journey began by my having one minute apart contractions but was not dialated.. I think between 12- 6am , 4 ladies came and went all delivering naturally and so fast! when I am still battling it out in the next room.

I was very distressed at one point coz the Midwives kept saying don't push when it felt like my body had a mind of its own.. seriously it must be a culmination of those two inducements. On top of that lil D's heart beat got very eratic.. at this stage it was already 4am and I was telling the Nurses.. perhaps we should go to Plan B coz I was seriously worried about the Baby.. yes yes I know babies heartbeat sort of goes slower as it travels down the birth cannal but seriously his was going up and up and up and up and suddenly no heartbeat when I remarked about this the midwive went "jangan tah kau ingau tu" ( don't you worry about it). To make matters worst I couldnt communicate with the Dr. who was on call and I couldnt understand her. Throughout the whole experience I remember inhaling the Gas and pulling Hubz shirt at one time through the sheer uncontrollable urge of what is a powerful contraction and have my mom there at some point .

By 6am I was tiring from the pain and trying to restrain myself from pushing and Hubz got annoyed when the Midwives ignored him and the Dr. on call was here and there.. a senior Dr came in checking up and my Hubz complaint that they are detaining me there when they know I am just in the delivery room for Trial. The Dr. cracked her whip after that asking for explanations. I remember her asking "why is she being kept here she is only on trial" .. to which the on call Dr said "but Dr. she already 8 CM dialated.. to that the Sr. Dr. said "let me check" and check she did .. she surfaced and barked "ONLY 6 CM.. prep her up and send her to OR! " (for your info you should only start pushing when you are 10 CM dialated and not before).

Do you know what it feels like to witness and experience all this whilst helpless and in pain? I felt completely NOT in control . Next thing I know they slapped on a sort of shower cap on me and wheeled me down to OR (operating room) ready for emergency C Section.. I was pushing and panting on the stretcher thingy they use to cart me off to OR malu eh hehe thank god it was early morning and not a lot of people were about.

As soon as I got to OR the Anesthetist gave me an epidural (an injection on the spine seriously I felt no pain whatsoever from the injection all I am feeling at the time were the pain from contractions.. ) they laid me down and put a sort of partition above my shoulder so I can't see down. I was exhausted beyond belief but still I was waiting , anticipating that robust cry from my child. ..when Lil D came out there was no sound.. I knew he was out of me coz the anesthetist said "the baby is out ok the baby is out.. its a boy"after about what seem like the longest time I heard a whimper.. the poor baby.. the pediatrician was frantically working on him after that whimper they brought him to me to kiss, even then I cant see him properly because my glasses was off.

The next thing I know Lil D was put into a portable incubator and quickly wheeled him up to NICU. I had to wait for longer as they were sorting me out.. this is when I was shaking sooooo hard! I dont know from shock or reaction .. but I was shaking so violently that they had to put this sort of warming blanket on me (hot air blowing through it ). I was later wheeled into the recovery room. The anesthetist accompanied me and later on the Sr. Dr. came to me.. She told me I had a baby boy weighing 3.2KGs and that it was very fortunate that we decided to proceed with the Operation then because the umbilical cord was around the baby's neck and it would not have been safe for him plus the biggest mother of all news was tht Lil D had ingested muconium and has problem breathing..but stable. I was thankful but about ready to cry after about 20 minutes..I was pushed through what seemed like an underground network, we went here and there went through doors and into an elevator and finally surfaced to premises I know more off..the Common Maternity ward. The ward was soooo full that they had to turn away some patients!

I was frantic for news and I still could'nt move on account of the epidural. I kept asking Hubz where the baby is.. He told me that lil D is now in the Special Care Unit for Babies and they are observing him. He even took photos of him My heart just break into tiny pieces when I saw the mobile pic's/video. They had a plastic box over his head, I assume to control the oxygen and he had wires around him and in him and breathing very fast and hard. The Doctors also had to give him medication to combat the harmful organism that he had ingested. Thankfully Lil D responded but that does not mean he was out of the woods yet. After about 1 hour in NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) he was transfered to SCBU. He was there for about 5 days for monitoring and it was complicated further with some infant jaundice . For that he had to go under the ultraviolet light for long hours with only his diaper and a sort of eye shield patch .. my poor baby.

Lil'D in NICU

Thats what I meant by Sad.. he came into life with such suffering . It would be trying even for an adult what more a new born. The saddest part of all and a lot of regret on my part is all that could have been avoided had they decided to go to Plan B earlier. The day he was released out of SCBU was my happiest its like I can take back whats righfully mine , all the while I was wheeled to and from my room to the SCBU on visitation and not allowed to be there for too long ( yes I got a first class room a few hours after giving birth mainly because the common maternity ward was running out of beds and wheeled because SCBU was quite far from the room).

The first night he was allowed to sleep in my room an ultraviolet contraption cum bed is where he is meant to sleep. He was not allowed to be clothed because his skin must be exposed to the light. I was praying real hard for his blood count test to indicate that it is safe to bring him home. That same night he was also crying.. alllll nightttt.. I kid you not.. mainly because he was cold and because he was hungry problem being he does not want to be Breast fed ( he was cup fed in SCBU) oh the dilemma .. a new challenge faced me..I had to pump and put him to my breast for ages and ages but he refuse to suck ! I was exhausted stressed out and scared .. this was not made easy because the next morning Hubz had to leave overseas for a course he could not turn down. The silent tears that fell that morning he left .. I felt abandoned ( drama lah kan hehe..) . I am pretty sure he felt twice as bad as I dont know how many times he rang me. But at least he had a few good nights sleep unlike me.

My Mom in law came in to accompany me after Hubz left and later my Mom took over. I bonded with my mom that night.. three generation slept in one bed.. and at that moment I felt so very connected to her . I couldnt believe I took her for granted all these while yes I appreciated her yes I love her but nothing compounds it more than when you have just had your baby and had to be reliant on her. Especially in my operated state with a little infant and without your Husband to rely on for the next 4 days. That 4 days felt like a life time . But I enjoyed my mom.. I was like a big baby hehe..

Now, Lil D is at the stage of learning to speak and are basically on monosyllables..however he has mastered the art of saying "Mo more" ( no more.. and signed with both hands that its finished ) for whenever anything is finished, "te ku" for thank you and he would say mummy yummy or mummy yum yum for food he loves watching Johnny and the Sprites , Pocoyo and Danny and Daddy on PHDC. He will grab his favorite blankie and gesture to the milk bottles if he wants milk..he will say "apa tu" while pointing at my PC especially when I am Blogging heheh..My lil son is communicating .. Alhamdulillah.. I suppose new mothers and not so new mothers go through this often especially in their childs formative years..worrying about their Babies progress.

Lil'D when he turned 1!

I am happy that Lil D is bestowed to me from the Almighty.. Alhamdulillah.. he was born at 6.44am, 3.2kg's and 52 cm long, his birth was both happy AND sad because of what he had to go through but he is now a healthy lil Boy the apple of our eyes and joy of our lives.

Home bound

Hey Peeps.. ahuh...the long silence are mainly due to trying to finish what needs to be finished before the long weekend. Yes the Abode of peace is celebrating 49th Army Day or otherwise known by the locals as"Hari Jadi Asgar" no idea why..since its a long weekend a lot of people have one thing in mind.. go for a holiday to neighbouring Country without having to take long leave or travelling on long haul flights. Me included . For me it would be be killing 3 birds with one stone.. take a breather from work, go back home and visit with my mama (grandma)and mum whom I sorely miss.

It would seem though those who are not flying had the same idea which is to go to places accessible via road/boat hence the natural choice of going to Land Below the wind.. about 5 hours drive from the abode of peace.. oh that is barring the peak days i.e. actual holidays or weekends fridays/sundays during the so called peak days especially when you have a long weekend or an extended public holidays + school holidays the journey could take more than 5 hours some 7 hours and some even half of the day . Really its not the actual length of the journey, its more of the long queues at the many checkpoints between Brunei and KK.

So note to would be travellers , do avoid peak days as the queue at the main check points especially Kuala Lurah / limbang is a killer. However if you choose to or if you really have to go during the peak days please bear the following in mind:

Tune your mind to having to sit for hours without moving or only moving at snail pace.

One of the many queues, notice the many cars stretching behind

(Pic courtesy of a fellow traveller who went to kk during the long weekend , thanks beb!)

1. Ensure you have downloaded great tunes in your ipod /bring great CD's/choose great classics sing to songs to while away the time.


2. Travel with like minded people helps or you will be at each others throats before you even reach Kuala lurah checkpoint.


3. Bring good snacks /drinks.


4. Bring something to entertain babies/tots/kids or better bring a portable dvd player ( if your car dont have it already) to amuse them.


5. Ensure that your passengers have ample space between you (read: do not overcrowd with possessions -not good f0r peace of mind).
6. Baby wipes!
7. a Map if you can get hold of one.

Oh if you are bringing your helper with you, do ensure that they have a multiple entry visa and dont forget your Car registration card, insurance, departure and visiting immigration card for Malaysia and Brunei (for the none malaysian in the travelling group), just fill in two of em as they will retain one after departing from one of the checkpoints..Brunei Permanent residents who are Malaysian citizens do not need to fill any cards .

We had the foresight to go one day before the peak day hence managed to make record time , we reached Kuala Lurah about 7.30am reached Sipitang (2.5 hours away from KK) at about 10.30 not bad at all we spent an hour refreshing ourself change lil D's Diaper had some mamam and continued our journey . We sampai KK at exactly 1.30pm. Is'nt that great! My fellow traveller went with her friends on a peak day left BN early in the morning and reached KK a 7PM! lets just say sore bums and backs for the remainder of the day but thank god she reported to have had a FAB time in KK.

After hearing some disturbing news about my Gran a few months back, I have made a conscious effort to go home as frequently as I can. Thank God Hubz understood my need to do this coz where I go my "trailer" goes as well.. trailer being Hubz , lil D and helper. We spent every night at my grans but day time is reserved for shopping and food. KK has developed beyond expectation and is now a hotspot for a lot of Bruneians too mainly because it offers the best of both worlds..you can be laid back as the Sea and clean beaches especially the easily accessible islands are in abundance. If you dont want any of that you can shop shop shop..Warisan Square, Centre Point, Wisma Merdekal ,Philipines Handy Craft Market (gorgeous brooches can bargain one!) and now the best of the lot would be ONE BORNEO..its a hypermall and has mainly what the likes of KLCC/One Utama in KL could give - Euro Moda, Habib Jewels, Esprit, Nine West, Eclipse are among the big names. I believe it will be fully operational by August though the actual launch will be done this weekend by the Sabah Chief Minister. OK.. I sound like the Malaysian tourism Board so we shall leave it at that .. Needless to say it was an enjoyable visit home.

Can't wait for the next trip!