BEDAZZLEZ

One of those conversations..

2012-02-06T22:02:00.001+08:00

My not so lil D comes up with the most interesting Gems now and again. Smart Alec!

So as not to forget I shall try to preserve those "gems" in here now and again the following was what I remembered most:

(1) Lil D at 3

I Laf youuu..

(2) lil D at 4

In the car.. his Dad and I were having one of those random conversations that was very animated it may seem like a debate.. the lil guy was at the back playing his game.. quiet. The conversation got more animated and the lil guy gave his best "stern" voice and went.."Come on guys.. cut it out .. don't fight" hahahaha...I had to explain to him that Mommy and Babah were not fighting.. we were having a conversation.. and he said .."Not too loud guys" :P who is the parent here??!

(3) Lil D at 2 months after turning 5 years old

We were going around looking for a tailor that does an Army Uniform for his end of year concert. We had lunch but I did not get a chance to bring him to the lil men's room . So his Dad kept annoying him.. D... do you need pow pow..he went .. Nooo... the Dad did not stop there.. he went.. D.. you surreeeeee you don't wanna poo poo.. and he went noooo no needdd..and his dad went.. you sureee you dont wanna sheesheee.. by now he was growing tired of his Dad's incessant questions... His Dad asked.. your bag dont want to go to poo poo? D said.. NO!.. the dad laughed at his own jokes (I was busy playing scrabble on the Hubz iPhone)..what did the lil guy say.. Babah.. you ALWAYS make bad JOKES! hahahaha.. I almost peed on my pants.. the Hubz did not have a good come back for that! hehe..

The pic on this post is of Lil D with a schoolmate in their cute lil uniforms :) adorable!

(4) Lil D at 5

The Lil Guy have been pestering me for a lil sister or brother.. he says ada baby dalam parut mummy ..I want 2 okay.. and I say InsyaAllah . . you pray that Mommy can give you a sister or brother okay.. and he went off happy. The next day he ran into the room and say.. Mom I dont want baby.. no need to have baby.. and I went WHY ? he said.. I dont want you to get cut open when they need to take the baby out.. (I have noooo idea where he got that from either)! I had to explain to him that Doc's can do wonders and I wont feel any pain.. :P Then he said ok .. I want 2 ..If only Babies grow on trees!

After coming home from getting some stuff.. the lil Guy and I lingered outside admiring the moon..It was full moon. The moon looked so Big and Bright tonite.. Danial and I was appreciating it outside the house.. I said ...wah D the Moon look soooo Biggg and prettyyy... D said.. yessss.. its so Bigg and brightt.. why is the moon following me all the time :P heehhehe..

I love these moments..

TWENTY TWELVE

2012-01-28T20:52:00.000+08:00

The first month of Twenty Twelve is almost gone.. the second months is upon us.. my how fast time is moving past.

Have been feeling physically and emotionally tired after a jam packed end of Dec 2011 and early Jan 2012. Got back to work and we had a strategic prioritization done..stuff on my plate..is tremendous!

Trying very hard to snap out of this malancholic feeling and get on with it.. what is clear is this..I refuse to read to much into things.. but I am only human . We feel ..We hurt.. We get annoyed..We worry.

On the home front.. My D came home telling me he can read . I took that with a pinch of salt, the week before we had done some reading and he was hesitant or not very confident although he can actually spell and sound the letters phonetically.

To my surprise.. this week he read 30 sentences surely and steadily.. oh I was sooo sooo proud! the more he progressed the more I cheered him on the more he was excited to spell and read. Alhamdulillah.

His maths (addition) was going very well too.. he loves his numbers it appears.

Am praying that this continues just so he does not have to face any more difficulties when he goes into Primary 1 next year. A big year next year and Hubz and I are still undecided as to which school to send him to. I hope we make the right decision and its a decision we will have to make fast in order to ensure he has a place to go to.

Hiatus

2012-01-15T08:14:00.003+08:00

A lot has happened since my last post.. one years + worth of stories.. let's try to recap":(1) The Casa that was supposed to be ours did not fall through.. so we are still with the "in-laws" *sighs*.(2) My Uncle suffered a very bad stroke.. after christmas ..it was a trying time for the family for the first part of 2011..he survived but was left a shadow of his former self. You see the old him at times but .. such was the extent of the stroke. (3)2011 has been a year of many many many change in the office front.. it has brought on stress and huge huge upheaval some good ..some not so good. Restructuring on a 360 degree level..you can imagine what cleaning up and changes that needs to be done. That would seem to present the 2011 for me.. it does seem to feel though that it is the fastesssttttt year ever .. it was difficult and very very hard at times but I wonder the saying "time flies when you're having fun" have any truth in them :P(4)Was so so looking forward to end of 2011 because it was my cousins wedding.. and would be a long hard earned break! As I write this I am on the way back from that "break" .. it turned out it wasn't much of a break ..since the day I before I was due to fly back home for a 2 week long break..My dad suffered a stroke..mild .. considering his hemorrhaging.. he fell in the bathroom and no one realized he collapsed since he was alone on the ground floor for at least 6-7 hours.. he survived and has mobility but will need to undergo extensive physio and speech theraphy.(5) Lela's wedding went well.. happy for the bride and groom.. as all weddings it wasn't without its own drama.. but what matters most.. the bride and groom are blissfully happy and enjoying their honeymoon as we speak..(6) Still no sibling for lil D.. :((7) on a happy note.. sis in law J is with child and I will insyallah see my first Nephew in March 2012! My sis in law in Turkey (Hubz Sis) gave birth to a gorgeousssss baby girl..two other sis in laws ..(2 of Hubz brothers wife) each will get a new addition.. Alhamdulillah.. baby boom indeed in 2012.. wait a cousin in law is also preggers.. wahhh 4 new addition in 1 year .. Rezeki MinAllahhh :) may Allah give me that rezeki too insyaAllahhhh .I am now at the airport.. waiting for the plane.. back to "life" work starts tuesday.. hopefully it will not be as intensive and will be kinder to me..May Allah Guide me and grant me mercy ..Amin!

Nesting and other things

2010-04-16T16:42:00.007+08:00

We are ready to take the plunge, we have decided to buy our own little nest in a strategic part of town.. accessible to a lot of places very strategic . Still talking to the developers and the Banks.. but am now full swing in the design mode... thank heavens I got my cuzzy to give some Home design ideas and lay out plans which will form as basis for the Developers Architect to develop on, thanks lel I owe you one . Once we finalized the layout plan, we will need to get approval from the relevant Department which would take ages I was told.

Once that is done we will then have to sign the dotted lines and be ready for a commitment which last the whole of my working life.. *sighs* but this is good.. its assets and it will be there for our progenies, at least it is prime land.

Hubz and I have sort of agreed on the house design.. but have a difference of opinion on where the layout should be.. I am adamant to have a deck/veranda with a garden (or pool if budget permits) it will be tough seeing that it is small land. Lets see how it goes. If everything goes well we will need to start thinking of tiles,laminated flooring, lighting, furniture and fixtures. This is a big investment for us so we want to make sure it is what we really really want.

s I am loving these interior designs pictures taken from here and here will gather inspiration from them..again budget permitting..will do the best we can.

Wish us luck!

Oh on another note.. I got a promotion yay! ..a heavier burden sure but really no different than what I have been doing just heavier workload.

Home Sweet Home

2010-02-15T13:44:00.001+08:00

Am Back Home and had a good time until Lil D got sick.. it would seem that the "break" we wanted turned out to be not so much of a break after all.. LilD had vomitted 12 midnite and had fever the next morning so most nites was me sponge bathing him and making sure he got his meds and comforting him when required..

Had a good time with my brothers tho..spent good quality time at home :) had a great time chit chatting and catching up...unfortunately we cant spend a lot of time on account of LilD needing a lot of rest and sleep..so a lot of time was spent at home.. had to scrap my plans of a picnic and splashing at the beach.. oh well maybe next time.. me thinks theres another long holiday a coming next weekend :P

enjoy the video I posted.. came across this and it was just gorgeous.. love love love it

Just like that..

2010-01-27T11:46:00.006+08:00

*Disclaimer*

If you are squeamish and do not like to read about Women stuff please stop here

___________________________________________________________________________

After 3 years of waiting I was finally pregnant.. I found out in November after having the all too familiar sick and yucky feeling and I was late. I was happy , excited but somehow cautious maybe that was a sort of a premonition of what is to come.

I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks. Of course at that time you can hardly see anything through Ultrasound, I had issues with backpain and my gynae warn me that this fact worries her as it might be a sign that the body is rejecting the pregnancy.. she says come back in a weeks time and we will do another Ultrasound. I was 5 weeks when I saw my Gynae...she saw the gestational sac and since its early pregnancy she congratulated me and told me to take care and set my next appointment. On the very same day I started spotting.. I rushed back and she ordered me with bed rest.. to cut a long story short.. I was on several days bed rest, I went to another Gynae who gave me medication to enforce the pregnancy and the spotting stopped. All this while I thought there is a chance and the baby will be alright but my gut feeling told me.. something is amiss.

I know I should learn to trust my instincts but I was so hopeful with this one.. ya lah after a long time waiting right..but something just niggles me.. the spotting went on for 3 weeks and stopped. It restarted as I was about to turn 11 weeks. I went to the my new Gynae but she was on leave and had given my case to her replacement. That Gynae did a scan and dropped me the news .

She said, there is no point in prolonging the pregnancy because the pregnancy had not progressed as it should be. I was devastated..stunned.. though I had my niggling feelings and was "prepared" for any eventualities... it did not make it easier actually hearing this from her.. she advised that I should proceed with a D&C so that the pregnancy would not be toxic to me. I asked for time.. that was Xmas Eve.. I said I shall return to see her on Boxing day (the clinic reopens then) to sign the forms and schedule the D&C on Monday. The Dr. agreed.

I had started bleeding on Xmas.. though mild but I figured perhaps it would be better for it to come out naturally without having felt violated with the pregnancy forcibly extracted from your wombs. What was meant to be is meant to be.. I started getting cramps at 7-8pm and it was in spurts ...I was still raw emotionally and was so mentally tired that I decided to take a pain killer for my headache then and go to sleep at 10.. I woke up at 12 feeling the beginnings of a contraction..but slept it off.. and the real pain started at 2am .. it went away and I went to sleep again but by 3am.. I could not sleep, lie down, sit or walk as the pain was excruciating..I was in "labour" . The pain? only Allah SWT. will know .. and I remember thinking this must be what giving birth naturally feels like (my first pregnancy was an emergency C section after being induced ).

The pregnancy came out after an absolutely unbearable painful contraction at 3.30am .. after that I stood up not knowing what to do.. I did not wake up hubz throughout all this ordeal.. I guess I needed to be alone going through this.. dunno if that even make sense.

The next morning hubz and I buried it. I took a picture of it to show to the Dr. It was a weird feeling, my body felt like it was floating, I was shaking and emotionally raw.. traumatized to say the least. We went to the The replacement Gynae as per scheduled and I informed her of what had happened. She did a scan and told me it was a complete miscarriage and there is no need for any D&C. I was glad that at least I did not have to go through that procedure.

I asked for an MC to recover and strangely the Gynaed did not see the need for me to take leave , she gave me a measly 2 days after hubz insisted..as I was due to take leave on the 3rd day of the week anyway. I was still in shock and did not see what she wrote. The day after I had to inform my office and a few friends about me taking leave etc...I took out the MC and what did the Dr. write ? "Gynalogical Problem" just like I suffered a severe bout of Menses or something. Insensitive much no ? ..I was livid! *sighsss*

Just like that it was all over, I suffered bad Morning sickness throughout and it stopped on the very day I found out that the pregnancy did not progress. I am still getting through it.. moving on. This much I know.. Allah knows best.

I flew back home.. needing my Mommy wanting the comforts of home.. the whole family , extended family converged at my Aunts crib in Kundasang and Alhamdulillah it had the calming effect I wanted. It is good to be among family who really supports you and care for your well being. I am so thankful for that. I celebrated TwentyTen in a room with lilD asleep.. the fireworks was going up everywhere welcoming , celebrating. I had no resolutions this year.. I was not interested in any merriment I just wanted to be... calm , collect my thoughts, reflect and grieve.

I went to my Gynae in KK. She did a good job explaining, articulating what was in my mind.. there was the guilt ,the worry ,the frustration, the anger and most of all the sadness. I am so thankful I went to her.

What is clear out of all this is . No matter how bad things are a good support system is all that matters. I can't imagine what the would have beens were if I had not had that support.

Now... life goes on.. it was meant to be and I have learnt that to be the truth . Just like that, it was over ..so does all things in life.. just like that.

Praise

2010-01-19T19:22:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year peeps..

It is TWENTY TEN ..Praise to Allah SWT that I am healthy and is recuperating as best as I can physically and spiritually..Alhamdulillah Lil D and Hubz is healthy . I am comforted that whatever adversity I face my family is always with me Alhamdulillah.

The earthquake in Haiti is another reminder for us to gather ourselves to do what really does matter in life.

I would like to share this beautiful number from Sami Yusuf.. I know I have been posting songs of late rather than "blog".. I find that this one reflects my mood.. give me time.. I am still trying to gather myself and blog about what has happened.. suffice to say I find solace in Allah and all that is willed.

The Climb...

2009-10-23T17:08:00.001+08:00

A lot of time has passed.. a lot of things has happened .. deaths, birthdays and happy events all in the span of a few months.

I guess.. everyone needs to ascend in living their lives.. yes there are ups and downs.. but we make our lives what it is.. accountable to our own actions.. all challenges we have to face..head on.

This song is so apt. Enjoy this Acappella cover of M.iley's song by AHMIR- thanks Atty for introducing.. love their sound.. so reminiscent of B II M

p/s will try to update more

Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson, Beyonce Knowles, Celine Dion, Anastacia, Backstreet Boys, Luther Van Dross, Ricky Martin - What

2009-07-07T07:55:00.001+08:00

To say we were shocked was an understatement, it was like loosing someone you know.. all of your life.. we all at some point grew up with Michael Jackson's song.. danced to it, lamented with it..sang to it..alas.. what comes from God will return to God..May God bless his soul..

Saw this video on utube..an MJ collaboration with the Stars .. not the most played song but I think this represents MJ till his death.. yeah what more can he give... RIP Michael Jackson.

Updates

2009-06-26T10:55:00.005+08:00

Archived entry that I never posted..I just thought I would post it here now since I do treat this place as a journal of sorts. Wanted to remember this.

26th June 2009

A lot has happened since I last posted.. at work, at home.. I guess I have lost my mojo to post hehe..sooo drained by the time I come back from work and so packed during weekends and after work..oh.. on top of that very engrossed with my Scrabbles and FB"ing".. a quick update :

Lil D has started school oh boy were we both heart broken .. he was absolutely fine when we dropped him off to school unfortunately since he was so used to afternoon naps he fell asleep in school. We did not manage to enrol him into the morning class on account of full quota..anyway when finally woke up he just started crying. The teacher rang me at 3.30 to come pick him up.. well that was the standing instruction anyway until further notice.. glad and proud to report that we only picked him up that once at 3.30 the rest is at 4.30 pm on the dot as it should be .
Lil D got used to school and are now enjoying it very much.. he even had a school trip on a bus to go shopping at SUPASAVE and had tea at the Millenium resto.. not bad for a not so 3 year old.
For the first time went to LilD's school to pick his report card and happy to report the 2 weeks he was there the teacher is well pleased with his progress considering he came in mid year when other students had a head start.
I have to start planning for Lil D's Birthday in August as I think this is the age that birthday celebrations will hold some sort of significance and this will be memories is created for them .
The Government Clinic says Lil D needs to get an MMR Shot 2nd booster when he reaches 3 in August.. bummer! I always get nervous when it comes to shots.
Discovered Lil D absolutely loveddddddd loved loved swimming.. absolutely refused to go out of the water even though a bit hesitant at first. Even wanted to go into the grown up pool as opposed to the baby pool!I had a tough time going in and out of the pool chasing after him ..but it was fun.
Had to rush Lil D off to the Medical Center as he was breathing really tightly.. no wheeze just labored breathing.. freaked the bejeepers out of me...hubs wasn't around .. good thing my aunty voluntered to send us ..we were there until 9 pm.. we reached there about 7ish, immediately attended to but..Lil D had to be nebulized so that he could breath more easily.. I absolutely hate it when a child gets sick.. the weight of the whole world is on your shoulders, you keep thinking of "what ifs" and "did i do that right?". Sighs Alhamdulillah .. he is in good shape now..after the nebulizer for about 30 mins and loads of coaxing and cajoling the nurse finally came in to take off the nebulizer mask.. he was so hyper but absolutely lurve the ventolin puffs he had to use..I stopped giving it to him after a week as he stopped coughing and was much better.

Funeral

2009-04-30T11:54:00.001+08:00

Touched me greatly.. at the end of the day it is all about your family..another great one from Yasmin Ahmad for the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) Singapore.

This and That

2009-04-29T08:38:00.005+08:00

We have settled back with the in-laws , LilD absolutely loved it because my SIL and kids were back from Turkey ..not that they can really understand what the other talks about but the kids spoke a language that is a time honored tradition , the language of children.. isn't it funny that kids can "communicate" and enjoy each other without really understanding what the other is saying..I always marvel at this.

Aside from that AF7 is on going so is American Idol.. this year somehow I am more into American Idol than I am AF7.. not a lot of opinion on either so I resolved to just sit back and enjoy the ride .. am rooting for Adam lambert , Matt G and Danny Gokey for AI.

On the work front .. boy was there many many changes.. we have a different boss now, different style all around but more importantly our previous Department is a fraction of what it used to .. sadness does not even begin to cover it.. the whole team feels dejected. The staff are being moved here and there.. and its just not the same any more. This however did not dissuade me, I seemed to have gained a new kind of resolve lately ... which is not to be too bothered with what's going on around me and just do my job and whatever crap they dished at me.. sure we grouse about it but I am extra careful not to let it get to me too much, I suppose that is life right ? I just feel that I need to be in a good frame of mind at this stage of my life.. sure there will be ups and downs but if the experiences early this year have taught anything it is to be firm on my resolve .

LilD will be starting school soon... I don't know if his baba and mummy is ready but we know it'll be good for him.. the teacher said it may be worth our while to enroll him in May (this saturday) since he will be 2 years 9 months soon but the dad and I think we will send him in June instead . He seemed to have enjoyed his assessment and having a laugh with new found friends so I am sure he will enjoy school but being a mom I can't help but think.. will he be able to sit still and listen to the teacher, will he be running around making too much noise, will he be sleepy since he normally naps in the afternoon ( he is slotted to go to Afternoon sessions the morning ones is full).. but I suppose we will just have to let him learn and we just have to learn to let go. Sighs my baby is growing up too fast.

The outbreak of Swine Flu does not assure me either .. I mean its the Flu for crying out loud, how does one contain these virus that its airborne and can you imagine how easy one could catch it.. so we are extra diligent now.. always washing hands .. the advise is go back to basics .. wash hands after everything. Please take a moment to check out the powerpoint slides , got a heads up of it from a friend :

http://www.pitt.edu/~super1/lecture/lec34601/index.htm

Be safe and healthy people.. until next time.. toodles

xox

Supernatural

2009-04-05T12:52:00.004+08:00

Yes.. I know.. this blog has been neglected of late. Part of the reason was.. We moved house last December and having to deal with a lot of upheavals at work . This is April and we have since moved back to my in-laws house. Why ? I shall tell you some of our experiences since staying at the house.

Its a nice big house with huge compound.. huge master bedroom, nice living area outside and on the opposite side of the house there was one nice big bedroom with en-suite bathroom and two medium rooms one with en-suite bathroom and a small storage room. This place is quite far from where we lived before, the traffic congestions in the morning is horrible if you go out way past 7am it will mean you reaching the office way over 8 am but otherwise the house is comfortable because we had a lot of space , more so than what we were used to anyway. The house looked good when we first saw it we see that it had loads of potential.. nice marble tiles inside lovely sized kitchen nice laundry area maids room etc.. nice .

We were uber excited when we got the house.. shopped for sofa's and furniture and kitchen utensils, fridge, freezer you name it.. anything that will make a home a home, once ready we moved out of my in-laws and settled blissfully in the house.. not before we called one Ustadz to help bless and "cleanse" the house and another group of Ustaz who was from the Pejabat ugama who brought 3 of his helpers to again pray and cleanse the house. He gave us the verses to say and to enter at a certain period of the day and time of the week, what was imprinted by my head was he told us.. after entering the house facing the road and reading the verses.. we are to say loudly that we will be staying here from now on and kindly leave the house... or something along that line.. and he said if you hear anything fall or feel goosebumps that thing is in the house and will leave. Well Hubz did this and we did not get any reaction so we thought ok lah kow tim.. the house is ready to live in. We are not one to discount the supernatural but we were not quite 100% about experiencing what he told us let alone encounter such supernatural occurrences.

This is done because the house has been left empty for absolutely yonks and we did not want to chance it. When we first came in.. we did not feel too comfortable.. it felt lonely and empty if that makes sense.. we attributed that to having tooo much space ..well more so than what we are used to anyway ..oh that and there was just 4 of us plus maid who will be sleeping downstairs outside the kitchen where her room is situated.

The incidences

It started about a week into us living there.. it was experienced by my maid first ..this was in December.

My hubz , lil D and I went out to fetch my mom and grams from the airport.. and basically spent time at my Aunt's house where they were staying. I had no knowledge of what she experienced that day until my MIL insisted calling this Ustadz who is very knowledgeable about "jin" about a month later. Apparently that night she was happily having dinner at the kitchen when she heard loud knocking on the window.. shocked the hell out of her she thought it was someone trying to be funny seeing that the empty house next door was under construction. She was spooked because she could not see "anyone" ..she immediately went to the living room and put the tv on again there was knockings on the window.. almost immediately when she came in. She gave us a very funny face when opening the door that night.. which brought hubs and I thinking.. what a sour face she cant be that tired ..after all we do not disturb her after maghrib anyway. That made sense when My Mom in law informed the ustadz what had happened.

Another Incident told to the ustadz was this. My maid got up really early she will wake up for subuh prayers go up and collect the clothes to be laundered , shower and get ready for the day while the machine was on final spin, she decided to make some coffee to start the day I suppose.. since the coffee was pipping hot she decided to hang the clothes to dry before sitting down for breakfast.. this would be around 6 ish.. hubz and I wouldn't have gone down yet .. busy showering getting ready for work.. we have to leave before 7 remember, anyway when she got back from hanging clothes she found that her coffee that was pipping hot had been drunk to almost a cm left in the cup.. she was shocked no one was around and she only left it about 10 -15 minutes tops but again she kept this to herself.

My maid must have strong spirits.. she did not want to tell us for fear of spooking us , she told my mil's maid and she in turn told my mil.. so that was how I found out ,I was oblivious to the whole thing..anyway..hubz and I was not spooked interestingly enough.. I just thought ok what are we gonna do about this now.. I basically found all this a pain.. and refused to be bothered by it.

What I hated most was.. it would seem that every month since we entered the house LilD had some form of illness.. he had the worst fever ever and I suffered the same , we have had to bring him to JPMC for emergencies too because we were afraid he would convulse because he was shivering from the high fever.. he felt really hot but was cold. I had the same fever I think .. I couldn't get out of bed ..really high high fever..

Still we took it as one of those things.. meanwhile we have always played the Quran chanel non stop from the radio, we held prayers , we have our Quran reading once a week that was how we assured ourselves from these so called "disturbances" .

The third incident came and was experienced by me directly, I was cuddling lil D to sleep on my fit ball while i had the tv on mute and lights dimmed.. hubz was in the bathroom. Our master bedroom had laminated flooring so you would be able to hear papers of plastic scrapes on the floor.. anyway I was rocking forwards and backwards and was facing the TV with only a bedside table behind me.. we had our laptops charging and on mute, until i heard a realllly loud PSSTTTTTTTTTTT ... I dismissed it as probably scraps of paper or bits of plastic bag discarded that was scraped by the fitball.. but nevertheless I turned around as the sound came from behind me.. I looked down I looked around.. nothing the floor was clean. I ignored it and turned around by then LilD was getting drowsy.. and again the sound came ..PSSSSSSTTTTTT.. louder this time to the extent that LilD looked up and looked around.. boy was I pissed off.. LilD is long and he is getting heavier now and it takes a bit of patience to put him to bed that way and that bloody thing woke him up.. I told LilD to ignore it and go back to sleep I told him "shhh...sleep ..there is nothing there.." I was not scared but felt urghhh.. that thing was playing with me!

One Sunday it was my maid's day off so we decided to hang around at my mil's seeing that the maid is going with mil's maid and it will be too tedious having to fetch her again later.. before leaving the house at 10am we locked everything as is the norm.. I went down to get things ready and checked everything.. before going down I also checked that the windows upstairs and my verandah sliding door is shut and locked of this I was pretty certain. My Verandah door is hard to open I say that because you need some force to push one side open and some more force to shut it. We came back home at about 7.30 pm as we decided to do maghrib prayers first before we left my mil's house. As we reached the house it was pitch black..it felt earie.. we had forgotten to leave any lights in the house on. So since LilD was asleep I had asked the maid to unlock the front door and open all the lights before I bring him in..as the lights came on .. I came down from the care and made my way in ..my maid came down from opening the lights and aircon in our room looking worried/puzzled. I said kenapa ? (why?) she asked me if we had shut the verandah door when we left the room I said yes.. she told me it was wideeeeee open.. the first thing that came to mind was ..Burglars.

I told Hubz and he went up to check.. I stayed downstairs with LilD. They checked everything .. my valuables ,electrical goods and important docs were intact. We all looked at each other after and that incident had sown the seed of super uneasiness about the house.

Another incident came during national day.. I had O and G sleeping over and since they were participating with the march pass they had to leave before 5.30am . I had told my maid to make sure she unlocks the gates so that they could go.. so at 5 they all trudged out of the door my maid to the gate and O and G to the Car.. they were putting stuff in the car and putting on their shoes.. but My maid saw something that she related to me immediately when I went down for breakfast.. as she walked to the gate she saw something she thought was a big black plastic of rubbish but upon reaching she knew it was erm.. not rubbish but a being.. not human.. this is what she told me " she actually said hello excuse me.." she said this several times until she said aku mau buka pagar aku bukan mau kacau kau (I want to open the gate not here to disturb you) that thing turned.. her hair just stood on end.. freaked out , that thing was pitch black and when it turned it was not just the neck turning but the whole thing turned like a chair would swivel.. that thing got up and ran.. and vanished she opened the gate and walked really fast and locked the door. I asked O if they saw anything outside when they left .. she said nothing because they were oblivious and pre-occupied maybe excited for the day I suppose but when I relayed to her the story she said it made sense then why it took about 15 minutes for my maid to open the door when it should've taken less than that. O said my maid basically pulled up her skirt to her knees and walked to the house like she was going to take off.. so that story sort of checks out.

That was the point when we started feeling uneasy.. again another ustaz was called .. this one said they will try to move it.. they came and went up the rooms and around the house.. we were told it likes to stay at our verandah and on top of our verandah ,on the roof and one likes to hang where a mount was next to the gate.. that figures.. we did not hear a lot of after that cleansing until one friday.. I came down to go to work and on my way down i smelt something erm.. yucky its a cross between the smell of a wet dog fur and whatever they left behind.. and a fishy metallic smell....the maid was busy vacumming the floor and i saw she had the mop bucket there. I thought she had already mopped hence the smell.. she said "it stinks right ?" and I said yes .. maybe we should get another mop assuming it came from the mop.. she was surprised she said but ma'am I haven't even mopped yet.. i dont know where this smell came from it was even worst at 5 this morning gives me a headache she said.. wanting to get to the bottom of it we both set about smelling sofa, carpet , curtain, floor.. no smell.. the smell was just well auguring around the living room.. when we asked the ustaz he said.. that thing got angry at being moved and came back ..I got pretty annoyed at that..

We experienced two more incidences the horrid horrid smell I mean, my maid smelt it next to her room and into her room and I smelt it as I was climbing into the Car to drive to work..I guess it was just making a statement.

After that several more ustaz and not so ustaz came .. we still hear knockings on the doors windows, one morning it was about 3 ish.. i basically jumped from my bed because i heard knockings..the thought process when I ran to reach for the door was I thought I was late for work , and if not perhaps there was an emergency and the maid needed help.. when logic sets in I stopped and went back to the bed and sat down.. I told my maid in any emergency CALL me don't come out of your room or don't come up .. plus the more I analyzed the more convinced I was that the knocking does not sound like it came from the door (wood) it sounded like it came from our verandah sliding door , akin to using keys to knock on glass.. That spooked me but I still refused to be scared.

We lived like that for a month.. some weird sounds...knockings etc etc.. but we generally ignored it... in March again Lil D got sick.. fever out of no where.. thinking he may have caught the hubz's flu.. but it turned out to be some viral rash fever, we really have no idea how he would have caught that.

My maid again told my mil's maid that she has had another incident.. she refused to tell us until i absolutely forced it out of her.. that was early april.. apparently she had had the knockings this time more like scratching on her window when she peeked she saw a HAND coming out to touch her curtain she screamed! that really freaked her out.. but she maintained silence.

The climax was reached early this month.. my mom, grams and brother came over by Road.. my mom and grams decided to stay with my Aunt and my Bro at mine. The first time my brother entered his room he was surprised that the curtains were flicked open.. as if someone had held it and let go .. he thought it was a lizard but no lizard unless its a big one could flick it that much.. he went there open the curtains and challenged .. ok come! but nothing happened.. the second nite he slept .. as he was about to settle in to sleep he saw something in the corner of his room.. something black but not distinct..he just read Ayatul Qursi and it went away but it was there for quite a while the same night the air condition to his room was shut off, they checked it was not due to a timer .. it was shut off.

When I heard that I told hubz .. enough is enough.. lets proceed to move.. because frankly after LilD stopped at the store room under the stairs which is always dark and GROWLED we both think we should move out soon I mean NO ONE taught him to do that and he would not have been exposed to such horror movies on TV !

On Sunday night since my brother will be going back with my mom and grams on monday morning, we all decided to go to my aunts again basically to hang out before they go back the next morning, since they are going by road we would not be able to meet up in the morning see, anyway before we left I had asked the maid to clear our bed since LilD played on it before. The main door needs to be locked by keys hence she locked up right after we left. After our visit .. we went home.. LilD was sleepy and wanted his milk.. so i went to our dresser where we kept the milk things.. the water dispenser bottle etc.. I had a whiff of the smell I described before.. I dismissed it thinking its just my nose.. but while making the milk I smelt it again ..but decided to ignore it.

The next morning , I went down to leave for work .. hubz was downstairs .. LilD was still asleep upstairs.. I heard the maid talking animatedly to hubz and my hubz was calmly asking questions.. when I asked she told me the whole thing.. apparently the nite before when she opened our room.. she saw a black kitten sitting next to our bed near the massage chair.. again she had massive goose bumps.. she raised her voice and said "apa kau buat sini dari mana kau masuk" (what are u doing here where did you come in from) she immediately went out again to take the vacuum reasoning being it will create a loud noise but when she came back into the room the cat was no where to be found.. it came from no where and seemed to have just vanished.. she scoured the house looking for it.. remember, the doors were locked.. it couldn't have come in from the verandah because the first floor is quite high and there are no trees that it could possibly climb to get to the verandah.. the first thing that came to my mind was the whiff of smell i had experienced the night before.. that confirmed what she was saying.. I looked at hubz and said thats it we are sleeping at your moms tonite , he agreed. I just felt as if our room was invaded.

We both went to work after but had to leave LilD and maid behind because there was workmen sorting out the toilet problem and major works needed to be done so we could not leave them behind unattended.. around 10ish am I rang my maid asking if everything was alright she said yes but in the background I heard my son whining and the maid was saying come here come here.. didn't think anything of it at all.. at 11.45 hubz rang and asked me to come and go check out LilD.. I didnt think anything and said yes.. apparently my maid tried calling me because LilD has been crying and refused to be left alone.. he wanted to be carried all the time its as if something spooked him..the maid couldnt get hold of him apparently she dialed the wrong no. so she called my in laws house TWICE asking for help. What happened was she went up after the workers had left intending to clean and sort the room out and letting LilD watch cartoons while she was at it.. when they reached the room she was just about to straighten the room when there were loud bangs on the door.. boy was she spooked she left everything as it is.. she shut the TV and carried LilD downstairs that was when she started calling. When I heard I asked her to pack every necessary thing and immediately transported LilD and her to my in laws.

Talk about Drama ..I came back again later with hubz, we packed necessary items and just left .. I had a real good nights sleep that night at least a peace of mind. The ustaz told us that that thing likes to go around knocking at windows.. this was before my maid told me that .. the maid at the house adjacent to us is too spooked to sleep alone downstairs and actually sleep upstairs with the kids she takes care of..she gets knocks at the windows as well.. the family whose parents are abroad mainly sleeps at their grandparents house not in their own house.. go figure.

LilD suffered too.. he has been having nightmares and crying during his sleeps.. wherever we go in the house he follows its just not normal.. sometimes watching tv and sitting nicely he would just cry as if he was spooked on top of that as I said before he has been sick every month too.. I couldnt take it anymore.. and I will not stand for it..heard from a family friend who is "sensitive" that the "thing" in that house was evil and wanted to possess LilD..what the.... wouldn't you be freaked out by that ?

It was sad that I had to move out after 4 months and 10 occasions where we had to call the ustaz to check out the place, but for our peace of mind and my son's safety .. I would rather be cramped in a room with all our things than be mentally terrorized by an unknown being..I did question whether the maid was making all the things up but the thing was Hubz and I experienced it too..Thank God I did not see anything though.

A lengthy post and unedited as I was trying to regurgitate what I had experienced over the 4 months..boy it sure did felt like we have stayed there for over a year .. I am sad to see the house in that state now.. abandoned... but I think for those who have little kids,you will all agree that it was for the best .

And the beat goes on..

2009-02-28T20:35:00.003+08:00

After loads of soul searching and discussions with Hubz .. weighing the pros and cons... praying for direction.. I have decided that I will be staying on. The carrot dangled was actually not that great... all the drama that ensued before the carrot was dangled.. was not very pretty .. it certainly was an emotional roller-coaster for me.. but all things considered I will stay on for now.

And the beat goes on.. until the next crapiola gets thrown at me.. when that happens I will know what to do.

All good things must come to an end..

2009-02-13T07:51:00.003+08:00

*Phew*...it has been a long time and I have almost forgotten how to blog..

So many happenings in the span of 3 months.. but what I am about to put in here had all happen in the span of less than a month..a whirlwind that has left me grasping for air. I did not know what I should do..I was confused and I prayed for direction.. at the end of it all the decision was made "for" me instead , no it was not decided by other people that I should go .. but it pointed to something akin to saying I can do whatever I like which made it easier for me to come to my decision.

It had been a crazy ride..I started in this place of work when I was 5 months pregnant with lilD.. now lilD is coming 3 years..I have come to love the people and the place's complexities.. there were times when I was really down.. but most time I am happy.. in spite of everything .

I shall be leaving this place.. with a heavy heart .. but one should not stay where one is'nt appreciated ....after all the mess that I have to sort out for other people , all the work that I have done *sighs* . The opportunity came out of nowhere.. and knowing that place's stringent recruitment process and how high profile it is not to mention great remuneration package.. I am humbled that they are giving me the honor of shouldering the responsibilities of heading the unit.

I don't want to leave this place.. I have not planned to.. but it gives me no choice but to go.. I shall be leaving G and O .. whom I have come to care so dearly.. my Finance beauties too.. sometimes it is just not about the money but when you have been let down and in the worst possible way too.. is there a point in staying.

I have had two other offers since then.. now my task it to choose the best possible place for me to progress on to..

God, please grant me the strength to persevere.. Amin!

*update*

Talk about at the 11th hour.. the Management had thrown me a carrot to stay ..

hmmm... gotta think about this now..

Waiting to exhale....

2008-12-01T13:16:00.003+08:00

It has been a difficult few weeks for me..

sighsss....

Cleaning new house.. moving things.. buying new things.. searching for things... not so good on the work front too..work load getting more and more.. they say things gets lethargic come end of the year ? well if that is a syndrome its not happening to me this year..... it would seem that everyone is trying to finish things they took their time with in the first place and decided oh she is going on leave lets get her to finish it instead ..and the work load is tripled just like that..

no amount of ranting will resolve it.. what will resolve it is to put my nose on the grind and finish it on time ... because i am going back home.. to unwind.. and until i take that road/ flight (undecided to go by road of plane) home..only then can i exhale...

sighsssssss....

Pardon me.. just needed to vent.. meanwhile enjoy your holidays people you deserve it!

A parody of Beyonce's single ladies by JT on SNL

2008-11-26T23:35:00.001+08:00

This is absolutely hillarious.. enjoy folks!

Thoughtlessness....

2008-11-15T12:14:00.004+08:00

Got this from an email forwarded to me ... it surely did touch my heart.. a single action done in less than a minute could change the lives of so many people.. a thoughtless act done by one person could affect the lives of more than one... something to ponder about....

The message :

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny,
are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical

state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the

life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body o f the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

For those who prefer to think that God is not watching over us.... go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us... pass this on.

The value of a man or woman resides in what he or she gives, not in what they are capable of receiving... repost it as a story that touches your heart.

*sighs *

Hope Won

2008-11-07T11:10:00.003+08:00

On the historic day of 5th November 2008, Hope won!

The victory of this person is now preserved in the annals of history to be the first African-american who became the President of the U. S of A. From the start people were weary but what is so obvious is this, the people do not want another Bush administration in the white house and people are ready for change. Enough with invading and "colonizing" other countries, lets get back to the basics and concentrate on what really matters their people and how they relate to the rest of the world.

To me personally , I am happy because from his speeches I feel that he is a reasonable man, a thinking man he unifies the people that transcends across the board regardless of color , religion and political believes. I think looking at how the Americans behaved during the results they felt the same way too. I know some of my fellow country man and adopted place say why are you so affected by this.. he is not your president. To them my answer is this..I care that he is being elected because I know that country's policy will affect the rest of the world. I also can't help drawing parallels to JFK for some reason. That he is charismatic and calm and fair appealed to me, that he is able to tell off the press for not going down and doing the dirty when the oppositions running mate's daughter got pregnant out of wedlock, tells me he is a fair man with integrity. The fact that he has respect for other religion and understands other cultures assures me. He unified his people and they feel that they are ready to take the journey with him.

In this difficult time of financial upheavals we need a rational man. I hope his administration will be able to guide his people and the rest of the world through this very difficult time. I hope he fulfills his promise and if he cant at least take a step on the right direction. Hope Won and I hope the dreams materializes.

Congratulations Barack Obama I am proud to be able to witness this history.

Apple Sweet and other goings on..

2008-11-03T14:23:00.005+08:00

Yes... a lot had happen.. my gradual or rather sudden change to a Macbook ..had to master it and still having a headache on how to transfer my old emails to Mac.. a lot of adjustment and you would still need to get a hang of things..however, once you are used to it .. its easy peasy and damn cool too. Main reason for conversion to mac was.. it rarely crashes and less threat of virus.. my darling old dell crashed 4 times within the span of 2 years and revived back from the dead... am gonna miss him.. well just a little...hehe.

Our house got broken into..and and the creep stole Hub's macbook.. the burglar apparently came in through small windows at the staircase which was not grilled. It took us a while to find out..mainly because they did not take a lot of things. The morning after the incident, as I was getting ready to shower and get dress for work,I saw lilD's diaper bag in another room when I had put the bag on the sofa outside our room the night before..in my mind I did wander why and how it got there but did'nt think anything was untoward.

You see Hubs uses Lil'd changing room as his computer room of sorts..ie. he has his desk top and whatever paraphernalia'a there .. normally he would charge his Macbook there but that nite he decided to charge it in the other room..anyhow the next morning he asked me or rather if I had seen his laptop .. see hubs downloads UFC (Ultimate fighting champion), a big fan of that show so the first thing he would do after he awaken is to check on his downloads..anyway , I said his macbook must be in the other room he checked and it was no where to be found.. that's when it struck me something really had happen.. I said it must be burglars.. why ? coz the maid complained when I sent lilD down for breakfast that someone opened two of the little windows at the stairs and it was so tough to close it.. I thought oh must be my pa in law.. but that confirmed my suspicions , it also explains why lilD's bag was in the other room.. after that all hell broke loose.. up and down we checked if anything else was stolen..nada ...only the laptop it was perplexing! there was a dvd player that could be stolen.. hubs tissot watch near his desktop which was lying around, a microwave oven that's still in the box which could be sold as brand new..(well it was brand new , hubs won it in one of the golf tourney's lucky draw) . On top of that the maids said.. the latch at the kitchen door which would normally be latched was opened but the door was locked and they said 3 cans of soya bean was thrown outside and on the kitchen counter (we had cartons of soyabean and other fizzy drinks from raya)..the maids thought it was us or my brother in law.

*sighs* my pa in law rang the police and lilD made friends with the policewoman who came.. but other than that don't think they did anything other than printed what can be printed from the window and did the necessary reports..that was the end of that.. poor hubz had to get another lappy ..he bought the Macbook pro *green with envy* but sakit kepala also lah have to pay for additional that we never expected damn burglars *$£^£$%^£* ok thats enough expletives..but I was freaked out and angered ! these people don't give a damn about our safety and care the least about our conveniences as long as theirs is served.

You know what freaked me out further? two nights before the burglary I wanted to go to the bathroom, it must be around 1.30am this was on Saturday night erm Sunday morning I guess. Didn't hear anything because I was watching my Korean drama online.. these shows are addictive! ..anyway when I stepped outside.. I was shocked because it was pitch dark..wondered why ? I had the fleeting thought it might be..Burglars..but since I was already sleepy and really needed the bathroom I went back into the room and took out the torchlight thinking oh it's just a blown out bulb..but when I checked the switch which is by the stairs , I saw that it had been switched off.. the staircase lights is never ever switched off.. its on from dusk till dawn in the house for as long as I have lived there.. but i thought hmm maybe my ma in law switched it off for some reason.. so i Switched it on again thinking its too dark and dangerous to be left switched off just in case we needed the bathroom. Nothing happen that night but the funny thing was the next morning the bulbs really did fizzle and needed to be changed so didnt think anything of that incident . But now with all the goings on I can't help but wonder why the staircase light was switched off ?? that's still a mystery .. I wish we had cctv but alas did not think we need it. My assumption..the creep came in to check things out but got disturbed ? well maybe its perfectly innocent but it was just too much of a coincidence right ?

After the break-in incident within a week.. another one occurred that really freaked me out! Why? well the first break in incident was on a Monday.. the 2nd incident was on Friday night the morning of Saturday..my helper told me that she woke up feeling like she needed to go relieve herself..but she was lazy to get up..I think everyone has had that experience right.. anyway while she was deliberating on whether to get up or not..she heard the door to their bathroom being rattled, well not quite rattled more like it was tried to see if it opens ...she slowly got up and peaked through the windows (she sleeps under the window) and what did she see.. a man in baklava with a machete around his waist trying the door to see if its open. Their bathroom can be accessed from outside and I can only assume the creep tried to gain entry after seeing that the staircase windows had been grilled.

Thank the Almighty that the bathroom door was also latched from the inside. Well suffice to say my maid almost peed in her pants too afraid to move or make a sound ..the guy gave up and eventually left through the back. Which reminds me I must give them my old mobile phone since its just lying around upstairs so that they can contact us if anything happens downstairs..need to get a sim card for them.

The next morning, when they went around the house and found a blue cloth shoved in the mango tree branches , we know it was never there before so we assume so that it can be kept in readiness for his next opportunity , maybe something to shove on ones faces so we don't scream or can be easily used as something to tie the occupants up. God forbid! the police wasn't interested in them so we burnt it..oh the smell that came from them had really strong chemical smell. *shudder*

We rang the police , again they came over and looked around, prints taken again but that's as far as it goes. At the very least we register our complaints and put it on record that this had happened.The fact that now we know they carry weapons with them scare the crap out of me seeing that we have an infant and the elderly around the house ,my pa and ma in law is still young but surely no match for a determined robber who will use whatever means necessary to not get caught! we asked the police to step up on patrols.. according to the police..houses that can be seen from highways and are easily accessible and are easy targets so the best we can do is equip ourselves with Burglar deterrents like grills and ensure a well lit house, even a burglar alarm *sighs*..well I hope whoever it was gets caught soon and stop being a menace to my family and the society!

It had been a week of loss of a Mac and the welcoming of two new macs , sweet sweet apple. Meanwhile, we now have some use of Hubs golf club.. safely tucked where it can be used at a moments notice in our room.

Be safe folks.

Z hearts Agnes Monica

2008-10-12T22:33:00.001+08:00

Last nite we were invited to one of the corporate functions for a Raya celebration of sorts. Was reluctant to go at first but we were informed that this Company normaly gives good entertainment and great lucky draws.. the main reason I went was because Agnes monica was coming and it was indeed the best part of the nite.

Her show was a blast! very energetic and her voice control.. omg.. after all those energetic dances??! I wonder how she does it.. I saw some live performance she did which was erm.. lack lustre because she was so out of breath but one thing for sure ..last nite she was super duper fit!..she sang plenty and worked hard to engage the audience.. good stuff..only managed to take pics from my mobile.. will post that when I know how to hehe..meanwhile enjoy the video a song called "cinta di ujung jalan" in one of the functions in Indonesia last year... this was one of the many songs she sang last nite, got the video on youtube which I have to say is my absolute favorite of the moment. Enjoy..

Discovery Channel: I Love the World

2008-10-08T12:52:00.001+08:00

I saw this on youtube.. and its one of those jingles that sticks around in your head!!! I love it.. enjoy!

Selamat Hari Raya everyone...

2008-10-02T15:52:00.005+08:00

Hari raya morning ...the time where most families who celebrate would wake up early in the morning to get ready .. the men and sometimes the whole family goes to the mosque for Eid prayers.. but for people like me who has a small child stay at home to ensure the little one is ready .. can't very well bring a toddler to the mosque right..maybe when he is a lil bit older.

This year I am celebrating with my in-laws... Hubs and I had agreed to implement the rotation system when it comes to celebrations, more democratic and fair seeing that we have families in 2 different countries. Anyway..for some reason this year I have absolutely no mood to celebrate .. preparations is just so so.. and I managed to get a ready made baju at the last minute for a steal. ready made because I was too late in sending my materials and most tailors had declined.Trust me they take their raya very seriously over here. I managed to do two baju ways away from where we live but well.. the baju kurong is erm... ok enuff said.

This year is also the first in history..why because I have never been ill on the first day of raya.. I have been feeling urgh lately.. and my cough has worsen to make matters worst...I woke up with red eyes.. blood shot eyes.. gritty eyes... arghhhhhh! there goes my mood. I went about getting ready as usual got lilD ready and wait for my husband to take us to his grandmothers house as is the tradition.

We stayed as long as I am comfortably able to , after much merriment ..well sort of in my case ( I didnt eat as much as I would have thought I will..) I had to scrap plans to go visit my people (my side of the family) . We went back home at 11.30am ..sampai the house we anak-beranak slept until 2pm . That my friends..was how my first day of raya went.

That aside I am sure I am not too late in saying "Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin" to all love from Z, Hubz and Lil D

A Birthday gift

2008-09-29T21:19:00.006+08:00

It has been ages since I last posted.... but reading my Birthday gift spurred me to make an entry today...see, bestie sent me 2 books she sent them to me ages ago but have only managed to read it today.. in between my feverish sleep and lying down without lilD jumping all over me.. (I locked myself in the other room..he thought I went to work ..had to do it for rest at least for a few hours).

See, LilD was down with bad tonsillitis for about a week.. poor baby but poor mommy too because poorly baby means no rest for mommy.. had slept on average 3 hours per night on top of work load and fasting and hormonal issues etc etc.. it is only natural I would "inherit" the tonsillitis from him.. I so know how he feels now.. it hurts badly to swallow and have been in and out of fever for the past 2 days so I took a day off sick.

I digress.. the book I read today was the Kite Runner ,authored by Khaled Hosseini, an American-Afghan writer. For a debut novel and extremely powerful one I think. I am not going to do a review after all the book came out quite some time ago and have been adapted to a movie .. but I do want to express how I felt after reading the book. First reaction was..sadness..and loss.. despair..I cant really explain it.. this book to me is the epitome of friendship, trust, loyalty, betrayal, bigotry, racism , innocence lost and atonement, hope and miracle..it left me feeling outraged ,angry but helplessly entertained I couldnt put the book down. To me it certainly did put a face to what we hear daily on the news perhaps that is what people need to do to be heard.. humanizing the problems certainly ensure people identify and understand better if not all of it.

I am outraged that such monstrosity are condoned and absolutely flabbergasted on how people can "think" they are the absolute law based on their interpretation of the book of god. I am even more outraged that people chose to look elsewhere when this is happening right from under their noses. The book is fiction but it is not something we have not heard being done in parts of the world that is being oppressed. The lives that are affected ,the children who had to grow up and are being subjected to monstrous things ,appalling things.

In this month of Ramadhan.. I pray to Allah for the betterment of all and the safety and well being of all children in the world. I pray that there is peace and everyone can enjoy going about their lives in an orderly and safe manner.

To bestie.. thank you so much for giving me this book .. I was so emotionally drained that I was pondering about it through sungkai until now... I finished the book in 1 day no mean feat between sleeping fever off and entertaining lil D ..but i couldnt put the book down..May Allah bless you.

To the Hassan's , Sohrab's and Amir's of the world over.. may Allah protect you and keep you safe.

To Lil D may you grow up in peace and harmony and not have to go through the monstrosity that mankind can be capable of and forever and after be protected by Allah SWT.

A Baduk Ad

2008-09-16T23:11:00.001+08:00

As promised the video...

What Does Ramadhan Mean to you....

2008-09-16T08:45:00.003+08:00

Things was hectic on the week before Ramadhan , mainly because we had to produce a short clip to be aired for Ramadhan.. we had a brainstorming session managed to find a videographer and the rest as they say is history. The concept is not new but I think it is represents what the meaning of this month truly is.

O ,Hjh Is and I were part of the production crew most of the time that is.. I enjoyed doing it too , but its so way off tangeant to what I am actually doing for my place of work ehhehe. Memories of us buying food for the "sungkai" shoot, setting up at the pasar gadong with onlookers curiousity is also part of the experience.On one of the final shoots I remembered how the rain was pouring and O had to stop over at my house after the shoot (she was sending me home) because the roads was'nt visible not to mention the thunder bolt lightnings happening at the same time.. freaky!

We were'nt too happy with the final clip and could not do much as time was against us.. we know we could do so much better but still a job well done . Will post the video later..

Iklan Merdeka Petronas 2008

2008-08-31T12:24:00.001+08:00

This year I did not feel the patriotism and the happiness of Merdeka mainly due to the goings on back home in fact all I felt was erm..nothingness. Several factors I think brought about these feelings.. the fact that Sabah and Sarawak was only included in Malaysia on the 16th of September hence the real Merdeka should be recognized and celebrated on that day. The 16th of September is celebrated as the official birthday of the TYT (Tuan Yang Terutama) or Governor of Sabah at present.

Generally, the goings on on the political front and overall restlessness and unhappiness with price hikes despite a lil reduction of petrol prices back home contributes to it. So in order to celebrate the "official" Merdeka I am posting a piece of work from the Petronas Merdeka Advert . A good mix of humor and seriousness conveyed lightly but I couldnt avoid the water works being turned on. Perseverance is the key word.. a mix of emotions but at the end of the day it is all about our will and perseverance to preserve how we want to live our lives and how we want our country to be and what values we want to inculcate in our Children the future of the Country.

Enjoy!

NEW LOOK

2008-08-27T22:28:00.002+08:00

As you may have noticed , I am using a new banner ..the banner was done for me by O :) thanks heaps O really appreciate it . l will belanja you lunch hehe. As per usual life is hectic for me and I am really looking forward to Ramadhan..I dont know.. ramadhan just gives me the calmness and really for me its the time when I concentrate more on family if that makes sense. Let me explain why.

It is during ramadhan that all muslims are duty bound to fast ..and that for every good deed you do, you will be rewarded 10 times for them. Now that is a lot like collecting bonus points. Time to top up people . Pahala is something you would not want to reject. It is a time also that we get to go back early from work and in my case cook for my family as opposed to my lil'd keeping different time for dinner from us ( he eats earlier) . It is in Ramadhan that 98% we will spend time breakfasting with our loved ones and generally spend time with each other more instead of being cooped up in the office from what seems like sun up till sun down.

My point is.. Ramadhan is all about taking care of our spiritual wellbeing as well as our own and our family's wellbeing.

So here is wishing you all " Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan".

4 days 3 nights

2008-08-15T23:13:00.007+08:00

That was how long I had to be away from LilD and Hubz. I was not well when I left and the day before LilD had a temperature .. I was torn, how can I leave my baby when he is sick.. thankfully he was fine on the day I flew off.. I was worried but I didn't expect to feel the way I felt when I was about to leave.. I have been warning LilD for days that I need to go to work somewhere far away for 3 sleeps. I don't know if he understood it but the period before the actual flight he was extra extra clingy to me and that worried me.

The morning of my departure ..lilD woke up quite late as he had had a bad night due to his temperature, he woke up fine Alhamdulillah.. so when its actually time for me to leave.. I took him in my arms .. kissed him like a 100 times around his face, his head and hugged him tight.. and when I was about to turn to mush with the "pain" and the agony of leaving and missing him already.. he took my face in his hands and smiled and said mommy...my heart melted and I burst out crying!! yes the mommy was crying .. very strong tears.. I gave him a final kiss and give him to his dad before I disgraced myself in front my in-laws.. my mom in law had to assure me that they are around to care for him.. the list that I gave and the reminders I keep giving was enough to drive a person up the wall I am sure! I guess I felt that way because I have only ever been apart from LilD for 1 night in his 2 years .

It got better on the way to the airport until at the airport I saw my friend with her daughter who was 3 months older than lilD.. I started tearing up! Sighs.. but yeah it got better..I was feeling rotten by then.. flu is getting full blown, my gums were flaring and felt a bit swollen.. so I guess that all contributed to the bleurgh feeling I had.

KL was KL.. I was looking forward to the conference and it didn't disappoint .. some were not that good but to a degree it helped enhanced my knowledge and affirmed what I have already practiced at work. Work interupted me constantly though , understandable but irked me because a meeting was scheduled so urgently without thinking of the convenience of others around them.. but of course what the boss says goes. Had to do a lot of remote work.. advices and such like.. the perils of technology sometimes huh..thank god its sorted, my colleague G was a gem, helped me out through it all.

The delegates from the conference

Did not do a lot of shopping ,no time and well, I had a really bad cough and lost my voice as well.. had the chills and I just wanted to lie down and sleep it off most times..but soldier on I must.. to my dismay when I got back most of the stuff I bought was not for me but for LilD and Hubz..I guess that goes to show the priority you put on others when you are away from them. Perhaps its like a subliminal thought to want to ensure that just because you are away you are not out of their lives.. erm.. yeah psycho babble which has no merit whatsoever.. but those are my thoughts..

Anyhoo the reunion when I flew back was sweet..LilD saw me ,hugged me and put his head on my shoulders and absolutely refused to let go of me until we reached home.. warms the coccles of my heart and sooths the soul but most of all what you feel is you are finally home hehehe.. that was only for 3 nights mind you imagine if it had been a month .. I can assure you I will be finding alternatives or get lilD to come with me as well.

This trip also turned out to be a reunion of sorts.. Met my Alma mater mates and god knows how long it has been since we last meet.. it was fun catching up and exchanging cards and news.. there was a lot of picture taking and a lot of chat about where are you working now,how old is your kid and when did you get married and how did you meet your husband etc. etc. etc.

Well it was a good trip considering and shall look forward to another reunion ..this time with LilD and Hubz with me.

08.08.08

2008-08-09T17:19:00.003+08:00

A multitude of events happend on the date above, historic milestones on every event.

First event

That date marks the 2nd Birthday of my first born..my pride and joy. Lil'D had a good Birthday albeit marked only with close family members from my side of the family at home but he had a ball , oh the laughter and voice level was so high you could not hear yourself talk . Cakes, balloons and good company what more could you ask for ey.. its done simply as opposed to the big bash I would've liked to throw but due to Hubz first cousins Nikah (solemnisation of marriage) that day and we were heavily involved in the preparations it was just not plausible to have a big bash everyone would've been just so tired. Seeing that LilD has cousins whose birthday is before his , we might throw them a party at Jungle Gym, I am sure the kids will have an even better time .

A historic milestone for Lil'D because he is no longer a baby but a Toddler and that happen on a very very nice date too , it sure looks purty on the cake :) but I am thankful.. thankful that Allah Taala has bestowed me lilD, May Allah SWT bless my child with all things great and protect him from all things bad.

Second event

As I mentioned .. it was also Hubz 1st cuzzy's Nikah. It was a mad rush to get things organize and I had to go into work for a meeting and tie up loose end seeing that I will be flying off Monday and wont come in to the office since my flight is in the morning. Anyhoo, back to the wedding , it was a simple affair but boy was it a super duper hot day yesterday , it did not help that I was coming down with flu and just do not feel well generally . Must be the lack of sleep. They rented a bus for the rombongan and all the hantaran to be transported to the Brides house and it makes perfectly good sense to rent one so that they won't be bothered with parking problems etc.

I can tell ya...there must have been heaps of weddings happening yesterday . So many choosing to solemnize their union on this unique date. After all this date comes once in a life time.

Third event

The Beijing Olympics also occurred , it was absolutely super impressive! I am just amazed at how gorgeous the opening ceremony show was, it was produced and directed by the epic film director Zang Yi Mou... he married the traditional and the modern and the result was simply breath taking and amazing. I was told that it was the most expensive production and could not be matched by any previous Olympics. I can see why too.

3 events in 1 weekend.. I now need a good sleep and a massage just to recuperate.. Phew!

Flowers, glue gun and creations

2008-08-03T10:41:00.008+08:00

Hubz 1st Cuz is getting married on 08.08 (on Lil D's Bday) and I was given the grand task to *drumroll* design/gubah hantaran lol!.. yes moi! (as a background it is customary in Malay Weddings to have an exchange of gifts /hantaran between the couple , do check out the link.. some pretty designs :-)) ...only two gubahan mind you because the general consensus was that each will bring home 2 to complete, if I had to do all 11 *faint*!

I do not dabble in the arts and crafts because you will find me either with lil'D, reading or in front of my Lappy most times. Growing up I loved to draw and sketch have an appreciation of arts and design but thats about it..on the other hand my Mom lovesssss this stuff.. the hantaran for my wedding and most in the family was done by her. My Mom loves art , she draws , paints, does Copper art once a upon a time and of course her flower arranging. I think some of that interest does rub off on me.. and it emerges when I am challenged with such task. I do love how designers work.. I know how it excites me when O, my colleague and resident designer is in the middle of her creative mode..I wish sometimes I am in a different profession.. perhaps I will explore it in future but for now will stick it out with what I've got ..perhaps future plans on the side and later on something to fall back on when I retire ..now that will be ways away but you know what they say .. you gotta think of the future !

Anyhoo.. back to the hantaran..I was tasked to design/gubah two trays (dua dulang) the dulang for watch and purse and a dulang for makeup and toiletries. You must appreciate that I have never done one from scratch before.. so what does a girl do ? pour into magazines and surf the net to find ideas and some tips as to how its done. I came across a few and there are a wealth of information in terms of ideas of designs etc.

I traipsed to the local haberdashery for some trimmings styrofoam glue gun butterflies etc etc and assigned the best time to put the stuff I got as well as the stuff that was given to me together... saturday PM while Lil'D was taking his nap I started assembling.. I tell ya . . the glue gun was the bestest invention ever for this stuff hehe I love it! I started at 1.40pm ..the creatives juices just flow and by 4.45pm I was done. Lil'D woke up in between so had to entice him with juice for him to play with his nanny downstairs before I can finish up..

The result..two creations that are not too shabby even if I say so myself.. though it was erm.. not proffesional but I think it has its charm. The 1st creation a basket that I had to "dress" with organza and trimmings including ribbons and flowers with the makeup in a box and perfume and assorted lip gloss etc laid in the basket filled with tissue paper and organza to cover it and around it as fillers to add more dazzle, crystal flowers glued on to the Organza in the basket and the 2nd creation was a styrofoam tray with flowering shrubs and flowers with butterflies grazing around it, the watch was double sided taped on top of a box which I wrapped with crepe paper and glue gunned on the styrofoam base scattered around are crystal flowers . The Groom's sister liked it so I shall just take it as acceptable work. ..can't post the pics yet on account of not being able to find DigCam cable to upload pics but no worries will bug hubz tomorrow. Once its uploaded will post it !

*updated 050808*

As promised here are the pics folks.. I know I know much ado about nothing right but can't help but be proud its my first attempt hehe..excuse the poor quality of the pics ..enjoy \o/ erm.. what do u think should I embelish/vamp it up more? still got time :P

The creations!

Funny Animation

2008-07-22T00:45:00.001+08:00

Lets chill with the chosen one! another gem :)

Where is the love..

2008-07-21T07:41:00.006+08:00

It has been sometime since I last updated this chamber of my thoughts..from getting flu , which was also caught by lil D on top of work and politics at work.. I find myself extremely exhausted .. no energy even to vent.. add that with a dash of Malas and a touch of escapism in the form of Japanese drama online that maketh the lack of entries.

I miss blogging as it is a form of therapy for me..so here I am..this entry is a vent entry if you are not in the mood to read about the mad rantings of Z sila click X or go surf another blog. You have been forewarned.

Now where shall I start.. I will be flying off to the Capital of Malaysia in a months time for a conference and are so looking forward to it. The procedure to adhere before you can go to such conference in this place of work are as follows :

1) Fill up a training form with conference/course/meeting title and the justifications of why you simply must go to this one as opposed to tonnes others that is on offer. That requires time and effort
2) Send said form to your Boss for approval and support
3) Said form will be presented in the training committee's meeting
4) Said Committee will approve/disprove and later get the big guy (CEO) to sign off for the big go.

In my case the committee doesn't see the need for me to learn more about corporate governance but the big guy decided to approve and i get to go anyway. However, that's just simply not the issue.. the issue was the lodgings that I was supposed to be booked in during the conference. I received my approval letter one fine day and what did I see , I am supposed to stay 15 mins away from the venue of the conference which is a hotel itself..what the mackerel! Imagine the inconvenience.

Being concerned I proceeded to clarify this matter with my training head and his reasonings was initially "oh we dont have corporate rate "..but when quized on how much difference he said oh about $40 ..I said I would gladly pay the difference and he say that would be up to me..but he said we are just trying to save money for the company.. He said if you stay at the hotel we picked for you it would be easy for you to shop.. I told him in no uncertain terms that that was simply just not the issue!

When asked what was my entitlement in terms of lodgings he became defensive ..he very firmly and clearly told me to my face that I am not entitled to stay in the same hotel of the conference unless I am a GM. I asked when was this policy imposed because I remember going for another conference not too long ago and was allowed to stay in the same venue as the conference. Training head became defensive and said that is then this is now. He clearly couldn't answer when the policy was made , it certainly was never disseminated to the staff.

What really bugged me was the idiotic reasoning's behind it all.. can you imagine the difference between the supposed lodgings and venue lodgings was just $40 . That amount would be what I roughly would incur in cab fairs in any case especially with the increase of petrol . How is that savings if that really is the real contention. Getting back to training head, he told me to bring my grievance to the HR &Training GM.. So I did. She got a shock to hear about the so called policy (she denied ever making that policy) she promptly changed my lodgings to venue lodgings and instructed Training head to rectify and start booking. Victory for Z but I hated having to do that..I mean imagine had i just accepted the decision I would have to endure the inconvenience of it all.

I thought that was the end of that...5.15pm HR & training GM rang me to convey the message that my particular lodging is booked to the brim and that they are trying to get help from the embassy to secure booking..I mean haiyooo seriously.. I told her that wont be necessary as I had bestie whom I am sure could check out room availability for me. I just had the feeling that this whole little affair has been blown out of proportions its just stupid. Immediately after texting bestie she rang and said yup there are rooms available I mean duh! I suddenly felt like its me against the world and like they are trying to make life difficult for me, would'nt you feel the same way ? Anyway I got that sorted out and yes now I do have a booking reference phew..

Somehow the exchange of words and the whole affair affected me.. spoilt my mood for the weekend in a way as that was at the back of my mind constantly. I know I should not let it get to me but ..cant help it.. anyhoo..training head is all smiley smiley to me lately and asked me if my accomodations are sorted.. whatever..this would probably be the last training I would volunteer myself to go for.. just to save me from the Agro.

That happend the week before..I felt that no matter how proffesional you are or how prompt you are in responding to tasks and resolving tasks people dont really give a toss out of some misguided need to make sure their work is done (as long as they dont get blamed) without really assessing the situation. Cest la vie! I just have to live with it for the time being I guess.

Overall feeling for the week : dissapointment

Eerie tales

2008-07-05T09:14:00.005+08:00

"Once upon a time"... Most fairy tales starts with those 4 words..as a child I was a voracious reader.. enid blyton, famous 5 , secret 7, nancy drew , hardy boys and any fairy tale books including volumes upon volumes of encyclopedia that my parents invested for me. I will pour through the pages and loose myself in its contents. When I stayed over at my Gran's I will normally sleep with my one of my aunts if they are in the country or my great grandma. The best part about that is I always get her to tell me stories before I sleep or have a story telling session when we are just lounging around after lunch or dinner in the weekends. The story the Fantastic 4 (click on the link for Fantastic 4 reference) keep asking her to repeat over and over again are her accounts of Cerita Hantu (Ghost stories) . We had a blast listening and later on would not be able to sleep on account of being freaked out beyond believe. Amazingly we still ask for more hehe it must have been the adrenalin rush of being scared out of the our skulls!?

One story that is etched on my memory is that of my great granma's relative in olden Singapore. The story goes that my Great Granma has an uncle or was it cousin? who loves going to town with his buddies. Well if you could call it town in the olden days.. being a young man they would definitely go to weddings and functions where there will be some sort of "joget lambak" (Dance) session . Whenever he goes .. he would always be warned not to stay out too late. At the time they don't have street lights and distances are some. The only method of transportation are you own two feet or bicycles, cars are commodities that not many can afford. He owned a trusted bicycle.

One night after those joget lambak sessions he set out home quite late. He was cycling while whistling..I would guess bahagia as he had had a good time wooing girls at the joget lambak, as he was cycling he saw a young lady standing at the road side as if waiting for someone. She was a beauty red lips fair skin and all. He stopped thinking she must have been from the same function . He asked her why she was waiting alone in the dark .She told him that she was waiting for someone to bring her home and that the person promised to fetch her. He had an eye for pretty ladies and thinking of mengurat (wooing) and being a good Samaritan and all thought perhaps since its late why not send her. She accepted his offer.

She had a realllly lovely heady perfume on and he almost drowned in that scent as soon as she got on his bicycle.. but he also had to break some sweat as she was extra extra heavy despite being tiny and svelte and curvaceous ..read sexy in a nice kebaya and sarong. As he cycled he had a whiff of something ..the smell of rotting flesh..the bicycle suddenly felt light ..when he turned he saw something in white on the air as if the person he had behind him was lifted up to the air..thinking initially she has been pulled up it later dawned upon him that she was actually that thing on the air..one word came to his mind.. Pontianak! That thing starting making screechy wailing sounds ..it was hideous..with long hair , long nails and all.

He cycled fast and later on ditched the bicycle and ran like there is no tomorrow. He pounded on doors to let him in and finally reached his house and pound some more . He screamed and shout for his family to let him in. When he was finally in the house . He got a scolding and his mom told the whole family who was by then awake.. they were told to keep quiet and just read the surah's in particular Al Qursy. The "being" terrorised them for quite sometime..living at the kampong they lived in a typical malay kampong stilt wooden house. The thing was apparently scratching on walls under the floorboards on the roof in between bursts of what the malays call "mengilai" or screeching wailing laughter not unlike the cry of a banshee. The thing went away after a while and the story goes that it will make itself scarce before dawn breaks. Suffice to say that the incident taught him a huge lesson after that. The villagers were all told of the story and was asked to be vigilant and not to stay out too long.

Apparently they were told that the "thing" likes to prey on young men as she died on child birth and was jilted by her lover when she found out she was pregnant or something like that..as i grew up there was so many variants of the reason why the pontianak came to being but the common denominator is that she is gorgeous ,hate men and wants to avenge her death.

Whether this is fact or fiction we enjoyed the stories tremendously. I miss my great granma.. she was a brilliant cook and was ever so happy to indulge us with her stories. I think perhaps I should document what I remember of her stories and preserve it for posterity. I hope you enjoyed this story too.

sighss...

2008-07-03T19:23:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt like in one whole week every minute of the day is spent on something.. from paperwork to consultations to meetings ,discussions. When you thought you have an hour free theres always someone on the phone or IM asking for this and that. I need a break..this knackered lady needs time out..I think I should pamper myself this weekend.

A lot has been happening on the work front.. from mundane and highly entertaining things such as "power struggles" (yes I kid you not), getting an attachment student to "mentor" if you can even call it that and preparation of a particular meeting with the Big Wigs etc. etc. etc. this has somewhat affected my efforts on the challenge bestie and I have agreed upon but persevere I must, I now aim to at least loose something come August.

sighsss..am gonna need to plan lil D's birthday and now apparently we can only have the party after 080808 on account of cousin in law's wedding on that very same date. It also turned out that two of my niece and nephew shares the same birth month as lil D. in fact 6th ,7th and 8th consecutively different year though (no! we did not synchronize timing it was a fluke ok.) I digress..anyhoo hubz and brother in law thought it would make sense for us to have a combine birthday celebrations .. a huge bash with bouncers et all. I am all for it since Ramadhan is around the corner and by then it would've been too late to hold the party. Although.. I have to say..I do have this tugging feeling that it would've lost the magic for lil D already. So I resolve to get him his very own cup cake with two candels on it and his birthday prezzy that night . This will be celebrated at my aunts place.. I just hope theres no function that night! I guess I will make actual plans once I get the actual itenerary for the wedding.

Sighsss.. the saying goes.. if you love what you do .. you will not be going for work..cant remember how that goes but thats roughly how it sounded like.. Well I love what I do but I sure as hell wish I can chill for a bit too. At the end of the day I know I have to thank the Almighty for giving me all the blessings.

and how was your week peeps... have a nice friday!

6 degrees of Separation

2008-06-29T18:36:00.008+08:00

Hey peeps...I am sorry for not posting anything the past week.. owing to a hectic schedule + complete lack of inspiration to blog maketh an un-updated blog.

Anyhoo.. amidst all the hoo haa of living my life these past week..it struck me that .. everyone seems to be connected to one another be it blood relations or friend of friends at some point of their lives.. amazing stuff right. I wiki-ed about six degrees of separation and this is what I got:

"Six degrees of separation refers to the idea that, if a person is one step away from each person he or she knows and two steps away from each person who is known by one of the people he or she knows, then everyone is an average of six "steps" away from each person on Earth."

Six degrees of separation diagram

(diagram courtesy of Wikipedia and its sources)

Fascinating stuff ne c'est pas? Am not gonna blog extensively about this however, what i do wanna share with you is this. As you know..I hail from land below the wind... although I have relatives here in the abode of peace I would never expect for them to be in my same workplace.. a naive assumption I guess seeing that my workplace has about 700++ staff. I only realized last week that I had a cousin working on the same floor as I was .. I have worked with him..passed each other going to and from our rooms at the office corridors several times, instructed him etc. and this went on for hmmm.. about half a year and I had absolutely no inkling that he is even remotely related to me.. until recently.

My grandaunt passed on last week.. (may her soul be blessed by Allah SWT) , I told some colleagues that I will be going back slightly early as the funeral will be held later in the day.. that's when my colleague asked... how are you related to "so and so" and asked if i am going back soon. I went huh ? apparently he was also going back early to ensure they get to the house for the funeral. God Almighty! he apparently knows me already.. I was embarrassed to say the least as it is apparent that I don't really know my relatives that well. Good thing that the other relatives don't know about this, they would have a field day. To date I know of 2 relatives already in the same work place by blood or through marriage. Small world this is.

My Gran and my late Grandad got married during the War. She came from Singapore and my Grandad was from Sabah my Great Grandad was originally from Brunei but left for Sabah on business and decided to live there. I digress..the story goes that my Grandad travelled to Singapore to study and asked for her hand in marriage after he heard my Grans voice on the radio reciting the Quran . Truth or not.. my late Grandad would never have "met" or married her for that matter had he not gone to Singapore. When they moved to Land below the wind..My Granddad's step brother later on married my Gran's half sister ! again.. that would not have happend had my Grandad never set foot in Singapore. That would be case no.1.

Case no. 2: my Aunt married her childhood sweet heart and later on.. childhood sweethearts brother married my aunts first cousin. Another sample of how things gets entwined.

Case no.3: my Uncles are mostly married to people from outside of Land below the wind. Most of them would never had met each other if they had not gone for studies overseas and met each other or knows friends or of someone who introduced them or chance meetings that became more than what would be just strangers passing each other .

And Finally Case no.4: Moi! I got married to someone who is totally not of my nationality, has nothing to do with my family already existing in the Abode of peace but whose family knows my family living here.

It's just a wonder to me how at some point in our lives we meet people who happens to know someone we know who knows your family or friends or are even related to. The world is getting smaller precipitated by the progress of technology. Small world indeed.

"The only way out is in.." - Mike Myers

2008-06-17T15:38:00.004+08:00

I am anticipating the release of "The Love Guru" after its brief appearance in American Idol ..it promises so much laughter. I know this will be another hit for Mike Myers.. I do Heart Mike Myers.. I have watched most of his material from Wayne's world, Austin Powers, Hat in the box , Shrek (yes only his voice but so infectious right) etc etc.. and now will be catching "The Love Guru".

From saying "Mariska Hargitay" like one would say when one gestures "Namaste" that in itself invites laughter. Yes , he was referring to the Emmy winning Mariska Hargitay of the "law and order" TV series fame. I have absolutely no idea why but seriously funny ! If anyone knows the rationale do put down a comment :P

I caught him on the NBC today show aired over MSN. What he said by way of parting remarks was very intriguing.. " In life you should have love without knowledge than you can have knowledge without love but ultimately you want love with knowledge... the only way out is in" heheh.. maketh that what you will but I think that is so clever..!!

Catch "The Love Guru" airing soon starring Mike, Justin, Jessica to name a few.. I swear they are not paying me for this !

I want that tote!

2008-06-12T22:26:00.008+08:00

I had an insanely good conversation with my bestie today.. we were on MSN IM'ng in between my quietly doing work, going to meetings , an obliged to go award ceremonies and discussions throughout the day so basically whenever we do get to IM its mainly to vent ..well more me than her especially when you feel so ARGHHHH with the so many things you have to attend to. By end of the day I have about had it with work..saturated to the point of going catatonic we started the serious business of actual chatting.. unlike the conversations in spurts and monosyllables we had before.

Its amazing what one can come up with in the span of an hour.. but lets just say bestie had 3 BIG ideas, one involving documentation of culinary skills , the other being franchise opportunities and finally an Idea which shall involve determination and resoluteness. I shall leave the first two to her and will support her when the time comes but the last idea involves both of us.

In honour of Lil.D's Birth month ..we aim to loose VIII kgs. Yes. I am consigning this one to posterity so I must be serious about it. It's a contest of sort.. the prize ? we will both share the cost to one Longchamp tote bag...if one fails to meet the kgs required the winner will get the bag.. we haven't decided what happens if we both achieve it.. perhaps I can buy one and she buys one as pressies to ourselves hehe.

The many samples I found from http://www.longchamp.com/ . I personally liked the croc skin one and the violet and lilac coloured ones at the bottom. However, whichever one we get or neither of these will depend on availability and of course affordability :P ehehe .. am excited about this.. wish me luck! oh the race starts Monday :)

Lil'D

2008-06-10T23:27:00.007+08:00

Dear all.. this is gonna be a very long post.. something I meant to do for a long time so hang on ..oh a little bit graphic and I don't advice those who refuse to read about births and what nots to go any further than this :P

Let me introduce my Lil D he is now 22 months and are counting the days until he reach 2 on the 08.08.08.

I gave birth to Lil D on the 08.08.06, to what seem to be a happy and sad time for me. Let me explain.. I had a little "show " (some discharge to show that you are about ready to give birth) on the friday and again on saturday but with no contractions . On the Sunday 06.08.06 Hubz and I decided we should go to the Hospital as there were more show.. still no contractions but since we are first time parents we'd rather not chance it by waiting. On to 2nd floor Maternity at RIPAS we went , Hubz had to wait outside while I go and get checked on by the Midwife...she checked and see I was not dilated . She was rough and I didnt like it.. damn painful ok..I thought I could go back home as I do not have any contractions instead she said no you can't go home since you are due and we will ward you.. I hated going into the Common Ward because there was no privacy and people stare at you I suppose thats all you can do when you are warded right. Hubz spent as much as time as possible with me until he had to go home .

I had a steady stream of visitors thinking I have already given birth, sighssss... no rest for the wicked.. first night at RIPAS was comfortable I see a lot of ladies who are admitted because they are about to deliver or they had gestational high blood pressure or just there to wait it out .. like me. In the morning when Dr's made their rounds..there was still no contraction. The Doctor came round to my bed and looked at my Medical History..you see on my last maternity checkup the Doctor told me that she is most certain that I would probably need a Ceasarean Section due to my height (4'10") and the Baby's weight was anticipated to be about 3.3kgs on top of the fact that this is my first baby. I had so wanted natural birth but am I guess at that stage just about ready for everything or anything.. since I dont really know what I am in for.. back to the Doctors round.. she spoke to me and said ok... you might need a CSection however, if you want we can give you a trial first (trial for natural birth) and I agreed. Since I have not experience any contraction after my "show" the Dr.s had decided to induce me.

They had to give me 2 inducements (my first inducement was at 8am and later on again at 4pm) before I had any contractions which started about 8PM.. small back pain really ..but by 12am i was already having contractions 1 minute apart. By this time I have had to call Hubz who was booted out from the Common ward at 9.30pm.

Into the Delivery room I went..my feeling was at the time apprehensive and bracing myself at the same time for what is to come..the Mid-wives asked me the weirdest questions .. did you take SALINDA? (what on earth is that.. ) I had my air selusuh , mobile and my glasses with me . Until they called my Hubz in . They had a baby heart monitor strapped around my tummy and the second journey began by my having one minute apart contractions but was not dialated.. I think between 12- 6am , 4 ladies came and went all delivering naturally and so fast! when I am still battling it out in the next room.

I was very distressed at one point coz the Midwives kept saying don't push when it felt like my body had a mind of its own.. seriously it must be a culmination of those two inducements. On top of that lil D's heart beat got very eratic.. at this stage it was already 4am and I was telling the Nurses.. perhaps we should go to Plan B coz I was seriously worried about the Baby.. yes yes I know babies heartbeat sort of goes slower as it travels down the birth cannal but seriously his was going up and up and up and up and suddenly no heartbeat when I remarked about this the midwive went "jangan tah kau ingau tu" ( don't you worry about it). To make matters worst I couldnt communicate with the Dr. who was on call and I couldnt understand her. Throughout the whole experience I remember inhaling the Gas and pulling Hubz shirt at one time through the sheer uncontrollable urge of what is a powerful contraction and have my mom there at some point .

By 6am I was tiring from the pain and trying to restrain myself from pushing and Hubz got annoyed when the Midwives ignored him and the Dr. on call was here and there.. a senior Dr came in checking up and my Hubz complaint that they are detaining me there when they know I am just in the delivery room for Trial. The Dr. cracked her whip after that asking for explanations. I remember her asking "why is she being kept here she is only on trial" .. to which the on call Dr said "but Dr. she already 8 CM dialated.. to that the Sr. Dr. said "let me check" and check she did .. she surfaced and barked "ONLY 6 CM.. prep her up and send her to OR! " (for your info you should only start pushing when you are 10 CM dialated and not before).

Do you know what it feels like to witness and experience all this whilst helpless and in pain? I felt completely NOT in control . Next thing I know they slapped on a sort of shower cap on me and wheeled me down to OR (operating room) ready for emergency C Section.. I was pushing and panting on the stretcher thingy they use to cart me off to OR malu eh hehe thank god it was early morning and not a lot of people were about.

As soon as I got to OR the Anesthetist gave me an epidural (an injection on the spine seriously I felt no pain whatsoever from the injection all I am feeling at the time were the pain from contractions.. ) they laid me down and put a sort of partition above my shoulder so I can't see down. I was exhausted beyond belief but still I was waiting , anticipating that robust cry from my child. ..when Lil D came out there was no sound.. I knew he was out of me coz the anesthetist said "the baby is out ok the baby is out.. its a boy"after about what seem like the longest time I heard a whimper.. the poor baby.. the pediatrician was frantically working on him after that whimper they brought him to me to kiss, even then I cant see him properly because my glasses was off.

The next thing I know Lil D was put into a portable incubator and quickly wheeled him up to NICU. I had to wait for longer as they were sorting me out.. this is when I was shaking sooooo hard! I dont know from shock or reaction .. but I was shaking so violently that they had to put this sort of warming blanket on me (hot air blowing through it ). I was later wheeled into the recovery room. The anesthetist accompanied me and later on the Sr. Dr. came to me.. She told me I had a baby boy weighing 3.2KGs and that it was very fortunate that we decided to proceed with the Operation then because the umbilical cord was around the baby's neck and it would not have been safe for him plus the biggest mother of all news was tht Lil D had ingested muconium and has problem breathing..but stable. I was thankful but about ready to cry after about 20 minutes..I was pushed through what seemed like an underground network, we went here and there went through doors and into an elevator and finally surfaced to premises I know more off..the Common Maternity ward. The ward was soooo full that they had to turn away some patients!

I was frantic for news and I still could'nt move on account of the epidural. I kept asking Hubz where the baby is.. He told me that lil D is now in the Special Care Unit for Babies and they are observing him. He even took photos of him My heart just break into tiny pieces when I saw the mobile pic's/video. They had a plastic box over his head, I assume to control the oxygen and he had wires around him and in him and breathing very fast and hard. The Doctors also had to give him medication to combat the harmful organism that he had ingested. Thankfully Lil D responded but that does not mean he was out of the woods yet. After about 1 hour in NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) he was transfered to SCBU. He was there for about 5 days for monitoring and it was complicated further with some infant jaundice . For that he had to go under the ultraviolet light for long hours with only his diaper and a sort of eye shield patch .. my poor baby.

Lil'D in NICU

Thats what I meant by Sad.. he came into life with such suffering . It would be trying even for an adult what more a new born. The saddest part of all and a lot of regret on my part is all that could have been avoided had they decided to go to Plan B earlier. The day he was released out of SCBU was my happiest its like I can take back whats righfully mine , all the while I was wheeled to and from my room to the SCBU on visitation and not allowed to be there for too long ( yes I got a first class room a few hours after giving birth mainly because the common maternity ward was running out of beds and wheeled because SCBU was quite far from the room).

The first night he was allowed to sleep in my room an ultraviolet contraption cum bed is where he is meant to sleep. He was not allowed to be clothed because his skin must be exposed to the light. I was praying real hard for his blood count test to indicate that it is safe to bring him home. That same night he was also crying.. alllll nightttt.. I kid you not.. mainly because he was cold and because he was hungry problem being he does not want to be Breast fed ( he was cup fed in SCBU) oh the dilemma .. a new challenge faced me..I had to pump and put him to my breast for ages and ages but he refuse to suck ! I was exhausted stressed out and scared .. this was not made easy because the next morning Hubz had to leave overseas for a course he could not turn down. The silent tears that fell that morning he left .. I felt abandoned ( drama lah kan hehe..) . I am pretty sure he felt twice as bad as I dont know how many times he rang me. But at least he had a few good nights sleep unlike me.

My Mom in law came in to accompany me after Hubz left and later my Mom took over. I bonded with my mom that night.. three generation slept in one bed.. and at that moment I felt so very connected to her . I couldnt believe I took her for granted all these while yes I appreciated her yes I love her but nothing compounds it more than when you have just had your baby and had to be reliant on her. Especially in my operated state with a little infant and without your Husband to rely on for the next 4 days. That 4 days felt like a life time . But I enjoyed my mom.. I was like a big baby hehe..

Now, Lil D is at the stage of learning to speak and are basically on monosyllables..however he has mastered the art of saying "Mo more" ( no more.. and signed with both hands that its finished ) for whenever anything is finished, "te ku" for thank you and he would say mummy yummy or mummy yum yum for food he loves watching Johnny and the Sprites , Pocoyo and Danny and Daddy on PHDC. He will grab his favorite blankie and gesture to the milk bottles if he wants milk..he will say "apa tu" while pointing at my PC especially when I am Blogging heheh..My lil son is communicating .. Alhamdulillah.. I suppose new mothers and not so new mothers go through this often especially in their childs formative years..worrying about their Babies progress.

Lil'D when he turned 1!

I am happy that Lil D is bestowed to me from the Almighty.. Alhamdulillah.. he was born at 6.44am, 3.2kg's and 52 cm long, his birth was both happy AND sad because of what he had to go through but he is now a healthy lil Boy the apple of our eyes and joy of our lives.

Home bound

2008-05-29T17:12:00.007+08:00

Hey Peeps.. ahuh...the long silence are mainly due to trying to finish what needs to be finished before the long weekend. Yes the Abode of peace is celebrating 49th Army Day or otherwise known by the locals as"Hari Jadi Asgar" no idea why..since its a long weekend a lot of people have one thing in mind.. go for a holiday to neighbouring Country without having to take long leave or travelling on long haul flights. Me included . For me it would be be killing 3 birds with one stone.. take a breather from work, go back home and visit with my mama (grandma)and mum whom I sorely miss.

It would seem though those who are not flying had the same idea which is to go to places accessible via road/boat hence the natural choice of going to Land Below the wind.. about 5 hours drive from the abode of peace.. oh that is barring the peak days i.e. actual holidays or weekends fridays/sundays during the so called peak days especially when you have a long weekend or an extended public holidays + school holidays the journey could take more than 5 hours some 7 hours and some even half of the day . Really its not the actual length of the journey, its more of the long queues at the many checkpoints between Brunei and KK.

So note to would be travellers , do avoid peak days as the queue at the main check points especially Kuala Lurah / limbang is a killer. However if you choose to or if you really have to go during the peak days please bear the following in mind:

Tune your mind to having to sit for hours without moving or only moving at snail pace.

One of the many queues, notice the many cars stretching behind

(Pic courtesy of a fellow traveller who went to kk during the long weekend , thanks beb!)

Ensure you have downloaded great tunes in your ipod /bring great CD's/choose great classics sing to songs to while away the time.

Travel with like minded people helps or you will be at each others throats before you even reach Kuala lurah checkpoint.

Bring good snacks /drinks.

Bring something to entertain babies/tots/kids or better bring a portable dvd player ( if your car dont have it already) to amuse them.

Ensure that your passengers have ample space between you (read: do not overcrowd with possessions -not good f0r peace of mind).
Baby wipes!
a Map if you can get hold of one.

Oh if you are bringing your helper with you, do ensure that they have a multiple entry visa and dont forget your Car registration card, insurance, departure and visiting immigration card for Malaysia and Brunei (for the none malaysian in the travelling group), just fill in two of em as they will retain one after departing from one of the checkpoints..Brunei Permanent residents who are Malaysian citizens do not need to fill any cards .

We had the foresight to go one day before the peak day hence managed to make record time , we reached Kuala Lurah about 7.30am reached Sipitang (2.5 hours away from KK) at about 10.30 not bad at all we spent an hour refreshing ourself change lil D's Diaper had some mamam and continued our journey . We sampai KK at exactly 1.30pm. Is'nt that great! My fellow traveller went with her friends on a peak day left BN early in the morning and reached KK a 7PM! lets just say sore bums and backs for the remainder of the day but thank god she reported to have had a FAB time in KK.

After hearing some disturbing news about my Gran a few months back, I have made a conscious effort to go home as frequently as I can. Thank God Hubz understood my need to do this coz where I go my "trailer" goes as well.. trailer being Hubz , lil D and helper. We spent every night at my grans but day time is reserved for shopping and food. KK has developed beyond expectation and is now a hotspot for a lot of Bruneians too mainly because it offers the best of both worlds..you can be laid back as the Sea and clean beaches especially the easily accessible islands are in abundance. If you dont want any of that you can shop shop shop..Warisan Square, Centre Point, Wisma Merdekal ,Philipines Handy Craft Market (gorgeous brooches can bargain one!) and now the best of the lot would be ONE BORNEO..its a hypermall and has mainly what the likes of KLCC/One Utama in KL could give - Euro Moda, Habib Jewels, Esprit, Nine West, Eclipse are among the big names. I believe it will be fully operational by August though the actual launch will be done this weekend by the Sabah Chief Minister. OK.. I sound like the Malaysian tourism Board so we shall leave it at that .. Needless to say it was an enjoyable visit home.

Can't wait for the next trip!

AF6 FiNals 2008 - My take on it.

2008-05-24T22:56:00.018+08:00

The first thing that struck me when the show started was .. it looked very weekly concert rather than a Finale.. it just didnt have that magic.. remember AF2 and AF3 finals ? you can almost sink your teeth on the anticipation and expectations that night on top of the fact that the students were clothed by DESIGNERS and looked GLAM and a Million dollars!

Yeah my main grouse was their outfits. They all looked erm.. lack lustre for want of a better word (on my part of the world we call it BIDA) and CHEAP! they just look ill fitting and the kids just didnt look comfortable wearing em. Let me start with Stacy her first outfit looked nice.. but the chiffon looked like it was the cheapest variety they could find with diamante stuck on it not very well cut and the over flowing skirt gave her trouble walking.. the second outfit .. a TARTAN bustier (is tartan in again ? ) and a little bolero to cover the bare bits, she had plastic bra straps that's supposed to hold everything together but her outfit just looked extra tight maybe a size too small.. aiyooo pengsan it's like the baju came from and had the feel of baju borong pasar malam ! Toi's baju the second outfit I thought looks half finished or someone butchered it.. Riz's red Jacket (was that velvet?) had what looked like a hoody behind him and he was singing "Januari 11" a beautiful song .. and Nadia ?! from her Hair ( her hair looked like Amy Winehouse's gone wrong) to her outfits .. ok lah maybe first one was not too bad but the shoes she had on for the second number was ..... I just can't find the words. On Nubhan's first number he had on a jacket again stuck with diamante's and a stripey lapel to match the lining of the outfit WHY!

Ok I can't call myself a fashionista but the AF Concerts outfitters should know that people can tell between whats nice and appropriate no matter how outrageous the outfit. Jasmi Rejab should be told off for this but surely SOMEONE from the production has some fashion sense. My personal adage is this.. we can buy the cheapest but it has to look a million dollars !

Right I am done venting about their clothes .. as I type this the winner has not been announced. The previous AF winners Zahid,Mila and Faizal came out.. (erm Faizal got the least claps hehe.. nuff said) . I see the ex AF6 students singing "heal the world"..one word .. hancur.. but I must say Saida looked brilliant! her baju looks great ! now thats what I am talking about . I see Stanly came back .. poor chap but the baju aliff and him were wearing.. bleurgh..kesian eh.

Finally .. Ramli MS and Sarimah was called up to present the results.. Sarimah also had on a tartan dress not unlike the one Stacy had but hers is more presentable (hmm.. I wonder who sponsored it) and now on to the results :

5th place - Nadia (Crap! I wanted her to get at least 2nd or third) - she sang both songs so well

4th place - TOI (ok expected no biggie - I expected him to get 5th)- so so and miss

3rd place - Nubhan ( name not announced but good for him )-hit and miss (the second song was brill though).

2nd place - RIZ (hahaha got this one right - 2nd place was announced before the 3rd and 1st place) -Hit and miss (Januari 11 was brill)

AC sure is taking his sweet time announcing.. I am by now jumping up and down.. yes literally hehe ..and finallyyy..the winner is...

1st Place -SSTACCCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY yay yay yay! (both songs was great am not too crazy about her "aku stacy" initially but when she sang it during concert it sounds very "Anita" but catchy and lively can't help but tapped my fingers).

The Winner !

Picture taken from here

Stacy was bawling her eyes out and was very emotional but gave a very good speech thanking her teachers especially Ramli MS for helping her get to where she is and her supporters as well as Astro for giving her the chance. Personally am so so very proud of her , finally a Borneon proxy ! ok its not about states and borders but for several AF's now, you could hardly get anyone from our neck of the woods let alone a girl but Stacy changed the course of AF history by winning in the 6th season! She performed week after week, she worked hard and played hard. She took what her teachers taught her and applied it. An exemplary student anyone can be proud of. As a fellow land below the wind , she certainly did her State proud and she should be proud of herself. Nadia was the biggest upset of the night for me but I guess the Nubies did their job well.

Shame about one thing though .. the production neglected to inform the students AND the public who Kutip and Pungut was..I remember Farah who was so attached to Johnny aka the Akademi Camera, was given a reunion during the final concert, it gave the finals some Closure in terms of the goings on within the Akademi for the past 3 months and it satisfied a lot of peoples curiosity . I have an inkling that Kutip was Sarimah though..can anyone confirm this ? hehe..

Good luck Stacy may you have a wonderfull career and make us proud.

Z is going to bed now.. with a smile on her face :-)

The Results

2008 SoBe Life Water Super Bowl Ad- thrillicious

2008-05-22T16:07:00.003+08:00

As you might have gathered by now.. I loveeee watching adverts and youtube "ing" and this is my latest favorite something about dancing lizards and Naomi Campbell .. lizards gives me the geli factor but the dance sequence is simply funny! Especially love that bling bling retainer on the lizards hehe saw this on youtube and later on in facebook too! enjoy :-)

American Idol Season 7

2008-05-22T11:10:00.003+08:00

I am gloating and happy happy happy why? because.... David Cook WON American Idol!! Archie gave him a good fight but Cook won in the end ! As randy said though.. they are both winners :)

The moment of truth!

Reality TV

2008-05-21T22:46:00.009+08:00

AF and AI is drawing to an end and I can't wait. Reality TV is a huge distraction akin to being drawn to finish a box set of 8 cd's of Japanese or Korean drama in one go ,so addictive. I did not follow AF6 so much because I thought it was rather boring initially but after concert 3 I got hooked by Stacy and Nadia .

AI is a different matter it is something I look forward to every year from auditions to the finale.. somehow eventhough the talent is not as big as previous years in certain seasons it is still something you just have to follow from start to finish perhaps its the judges views that enthralls the viewers but I find Simon's comment are spot on most times.

In AF we learnt recently that Stanly lost his mom . A first in AF history that this had happend. Poor Stanley , it would seem that the act of denying him the finals by the voters also represents the loosing of his mother days after he was booted out.. perhaps his mom was waiting to see him before she leaves the world.. such wretched -wretched news. It would seem that the production was on standby mode all the time before and during concert learning of the critical state his mom was in. My condolences to him and his loved once may he be strong and resolute in this difficult time. Wasir!!

Meanwhile in the Akademi...

Each students got 2 songs.. but I just cant fathom whyyyyy the songs are not more erm..sedap! at least give lah a FINAL material! We want magic , good songs and great entertainment this Saturday somewhat rivalling that of the AI finals but am not keeping my hopes up.

Can't wait of the shows to be over... May Stacy claim her deserved spot and go down the annals of history to be the first person from Borneo (Sabah/Sarawak) to win AF and may Cook win and go on to greater heights! here is to HOPE!

I still haven't found what I'm looking for..

2008-05-21T20:33:00.006+08:00

Cook was tremendously great... but I think Archie has trumped the night. David C opened the night with such a lovely rendition of my favorite U2 Song and as Simon said it was phenomenal.. But David A .. song after song delivered fantabulously. Yes , I did not find what I was looking for in Cooks performance tonight as I had hoped. I think he should be the next idol because well.. Cook is just Cook! innovative , original, soulful , passionate with a velvety crisp tone of voice .. but judging from tonights performances not that he did not perform well, in fact he sang all beautifully but somehow Archie sang with magic and twinkles wowing the crowd and the judges, inducing standing ovations time and time again enuff said..

My hopes are for Cook to win but in my hearts of hearts..something tells me that Archie Angel is the 2008 Idol.

David C- Still have not found what he was looking for?

David A- Imagine....

Can't wait for results!

The wonder years..part 2

2008-05-19T19:30:00.006+08:00

The second installment of my wonder years..

The Fantastic 4 minus 1 walking the walk..

11. Once both of my Grandparents were away visiting.. it was just me and fantastic 1 and the maids . It was raining cats and dogs, since we were bored out of our skulls we decided to do an experiment i.e how wet can one get in a pouring rain if we run from the porch to the garage which is about hmm.. 20 meters away by using a plastic bag over our heads..the test is by running as fast as you can.. suffice to say we were drenched by 2 meters. Idiotic but that was such a liberating experience. I absolutely loved it. This was followed by hot shower drank hot milo and watched TV bliss the elders didnt know any better hehe.

12. Fantastic 3 &4 at one time decided they will be spiderman.. what they did was took a jar of vicks vaporub slathered them on to their hands and decided to see how far it could get them by crawling up the wall.. no no one got past their own height or the extend of their jump but it sure as hell left loadddsssss of handprints reeking of vicks on the wall.. the maid came up and simply screamed! heheh..very imaginative kan.

13. When we got a bit older (ages between 8-12) we used to sneak to our granduncles house to swim in his pool..he used to have this nice gardener who would always let us in to swim.. we stayed there most times for at least 3 hours each time.. not that we can swim well.. I shudder at what could have happend as none of us were strong swimmers. No one was supervising that was for sure.

Those were what we normally do during weekends or after school..since my parents were working full time we would be sent to our gran's house and we used to look forward to that. Mind you not all our activities were erm ..mundane and mild.. we do have our share of mishaps .. two incidents are fixed in my memory .

Mishap 1

Once after first day of school i think i was in primary 3 we got together still in our school uniforms talking about first day of school while playing on the swing.. the steel variety damn heavy ..I had this idea of folding the swing over to add height and stand on it while they were talking.. in an instant i was already under the swing although winded I had the foresight to stop the swing before i got up.. when i was assured it has stopped i lifted by head the next thing I knew I felt a heavy knock right smack behind my head..painful but since everyone was looking at me in shock I tried very hard not to cry.. someone helped me up and I was standing and I felt something warm and wet trickling behind my neck soaking my pretty new uniform.. when I looked down the waterworks started, it was blood!! someone brought me to mama and she took one look got a towel cleaned me and proceeded to pour cold coffee on top of the wound..I was traumatize for sure but it sure as hell stopped the bleeding.. didnt even need stitches.. perhaps only a flesh wound but I could feel the bump for ages after that.. freaky.

Mishap 2

It was holidays I was at mama's place as usual when my mom sent me there I immediately went to search for H. Before I proceed let me explain this first, Bapa and Mama (my grans) had a huge compound.. there were two houses one older house and a newly constructed house that they later moved into. The older house was basically where the Uncles stays and the girls would stays with the Grans in the then new house next door. I have 11 Uncles and Aunt my mom is the eldest making 12 in all go figure .. of course they would need a big place to house everyone. Since most of the uncles were away overseas for their studies the old house would be left virtually empty except for one or two rooms occupied.

Geeting back to the story.. off I go in search of Fantastic 1, room after room person after person no one had seen him ..so i decided to go next door to the old house .. I searched room after room when i hit jackpot.. Fantastic 1 was under one bed that was covered with a bed throw ( you know the type that has tassles around it) shielding him from anyone entering into the room.. he had a bottle of vitamin C tablets and eating them one by one like they were candy! but of course i wanted in on it.. so off i went under the bed and he graciously shared his loot with me.. while we were busy munching on Vit C tablets.. Fantastic 1 saw a box of matches.. the throw on the bed had tassles all around. He lit one match and said lets try and burn one of the tassles sure "cantik" macam "bunga api" I was uneasy but went along with it.. so he did.. it went up and fizzles wahhhh sooo pretty we did it to maybe a couple more tassle and that was when he came up with the "brilliant" idea..he said hey , "mari kita bakar tassles semua cantik tu kan macam bunga api" (lets try burning the tasles sure would be pretty right..like fireworks )and yes you guessed it .. the throw caught fire , we scuttled back out and look at it in shock and dismay.. he told me to go and get water from the adjacent bathroom .. I could'nt find anything but a small cup to fill with water.. by now there was a huge smoke and no amount of water poured and going in and out trying to put it out will stop the fire. We were desperate . Fantastic 1 asked me to get help. (swallowing our pride and fear of being scolded) I ran down and saw one uncle who just came back from a footie match , none of them believed me! I saw my aunt, told her and suddenly it was pandamoniom especially when one my uncles footie friend saw smoke blowing out of the windows.

All Fantastic 1 and I could do was retreat and go somewhere where no one will find us. We sat at the veranda and stayed there .. fearing the outcome and fearing the retribution coming for us. That was the first and the last time I saw my Grandad running from next door to the old house. My Grandad never run and is never in a hurry ..he walks very gently and hardly even stomps . The firebrigade came and put out the fire.. the whole mattress is ruined the whole room was black everything else has either melted or mangled. The carpet , drapes etc were all ruined.
Surprisingly not one person touched a hair on our body or reprimanded us.. we felt blessed and thankful that we were still around..and blessed that the folks around us saw guilt and remorse on our own faces and know that thats chastisement enough. We never ever ever played with matches after that . Definitely a building experience.

Fantastic 5

Fantastic 5 came years later courtesy of one of my favorite aunt who gave birth to him and what an adorable baby he was .... initially he was a pain in the butt because he will always tell on us if we get up to mischief or refuse to play with him.. as the years go by the 5 of us was inseperable.. well that was before Fantastic 1 got married after that it was just the 4 of us. We would go to the holiday house in the same car every Hari Raya eve for the family get togethers , we would jam together, go makan together, go Hari Raya"ing" together.. fun fun fun.. he was the baby of the Fantastics and we were very protective of each other so much so instead of first cousin he is more of a brother to me. He calls my mom ,mummy too heheh..

There are tonnes more stories where that came from but I think I shall stop at this.. oh what it is to be a child. :-)

The wonder years..part 1

2008-05-18T23:45:00.016+08:00

The Fantastic 4 minus 1

During one of the usual Hari Raya Gatherings a few years back (Pre-marriage era) .. my siblings, a cousin and my uncle ( a year older than me ) was sitting around catching up as one would together with my darling Gran whom I call Mama.. gatherings being gatherings it was loud.. especially with my little cousins ages 5 to hmm.. mayb 3-4 years old screaming running and tearing the place down.. we sometimes just had to stop talking and look at them in amazement. My gran had this to say when we stopped talking .. "kanak -kanak ani banarr.. kamu masa damit-damit dulu macam malaikat" ( these kids! when you lot were smaller you were like angels) hahaha.. and this remark after the antics we get up to .. I shudder to think if lil D is as ermm "angelic" as us. Immediately upon hearing this remark my cousin (the addition to the Fantastic 4 making it Fantastic 5 later on) started gesturing and making an invincible halo sign above his head with a stupid grin on his face that just cracked us up . That was when the "remember when" stories of yesteryears began.

Don't you just love reminiscing .. well I do anyway.. it helps to preserve the memory and you get such an enjoyment listening to the stories over and over again especially when you have not met one another for yonks. Let me begin by introducing the Fantastic 4 . My uncle H (one year older than me) and I are on first name basis as we were basically brought up like brother and sister rather than niece and uncle hence my calling my gran, Mama. We go to the same high school go to the same Uni etc. H is Fantastic no.1 (since he is the oldest)..my brother E was born two years after me , making Fantastic no.2 and Brother P a year later making Fantastic no.4 that made us the fantastic 4 (I am Fantastic no.2 lah heheh..).

None of my other uncles/aunts were married at that time so we were the only kids. We amused ourselves with erm .. creative stuff ya lah at the time no canggih manggih video games what..so we had to use a lot of our imagination . Note that I was the only girl in the group.. damn annoying at times because certain games are for BOYS only.. like playing combat..football or whatever game they deem unfit for a girl! they will rope me in if they need extras however especially when we play Combat! ( a tv show).. I am always in the German army (the bad guys) not the American army(the good guys) that should tell you the era of my childhood heheh.. its actually a 60's show but aired in Malaysia a decade and more later .. wanna know more about the TV Show, go google or youtube "Combat" starring Vic Morrow .

Fantastic 1 was the ultimate Boss.. since he was the oldest of the lot, what he says goes . Me being me was the stubborn one who, although timid would always have something to say if I have to. Most times we are in agreement and when we are we get up to a lot of things.

"Creative activity"

1. Play masak-masak by the sea - we lived by the sea ( now its more like a lagoon after they decided to put a coastal way there. That is me..the guys would normally gather "food" in the form of leaves, twigs sea water etc etc. while I do the cooking (erm make believe ok..). we had buah pokok aru and those leaves you get by the seas for" lunch" .

2. "Mandi Laut" when the elders have their nap . In general we are allowed to go to the beach if we tell someone older and absolutely not allowed to go into the waters alone.. yes all very sensible rules but kids being kids we always throw caution to the win and enjoy the warm waters and play sandcastles until my Granma screams from the verandah or the maids come courtesy of bapa (grandad) to get out of the water and take our behinds back to the house to shower pronto. Mind you we normally mandi laut when we are in our holiday house . At the time about 4 hours away by gravelled road from where we lived. Now it takes half the time with the advent of good roads. I loved it there and always look forward to going when its school holidays, the sea was clean and prestine and we used to have a hut where we will lay mats on and bring our pillows and nap or play boardgames with the wind blowing through.. the proverbial laidback and fancy free.

3. If you have ever encountered pokok Aru (its rive at beaches) you will know that it does not have leaves but nettles . Each nettle has segments which you can pull out and put together again..We would do that and take turns to guess where the broken segment was . I swear sometime you can't tell!

4. We were not allowed sweets .. my mom absolutely forbade it except during special occasions..so when the sweet tooth craves sweets we will sneak into the kitchen open a tin of milo and put them in a glass and mix em with milk powder no water no sugar.. eat "as is" damn sedappp I tell you. This was forbidden on account that it may cause cavities on the pearly whites and constipation! .. I can tell you that did not deter us we can just eat Banana's dutifully after meals to our hearts content later to un-constipate heheh!

5. If the sweet tooth needs more attention and theres not enough milo we will normally attack my Grandad's Susu cap junjung which he normally eats with his jacobs biscuits.. pour the condense milk on a piece of white bread and sprinkle some milo on top sooo yummmmyyyyyyy! At this point my great granma would normally come into the kitchen to shoo us off.. "baik keluar dari dapor skarang kalau tak aku ketuk ngan senduk nasi biar jadi beruk " ( my great granma hailed from Singapore hence the dialect). At that point we will be running out and hiding behind next doors laundry room and savor our forbidden treat. We love driving her up the wall but oh she does make the most wonderful dishes.. I regret that I have never learnt the secret ingredience to her most delish Soto and Lontong, what we have now is good but not as good as hers.

6. If it rains and we can't play outside we will play in the carpet room, my grandad used to throw loads of functions requiring new carpets laid, if not in use its stored in this room that has huge cupboards where carpets are piled on top of another in or outside the cupboards.. we used to imagine we were on mountains but what the room was great for was to play hide and seek in ,so many nooks and crany .. FUN! on hindsight I wonder how we can tolerate the stuffy room with carpet dusts and what nots in the air!

7. "main hantu"- oh great fun to play at night.. we alway have the protoganist to scare the crap out of us and someones kain pelikat (my grandad's or one of my uncles) will be used.. if not the beds throwover or blankets.. the room would be in shambles by the time we are done!

8. "cerita hantu" - another favorite past time especially when we dont feel like running and for some reason this exchange of stories are always told "malam Jumaat" . Somehow it was drummed into us that this night ghouls comes out for a bit of fun.. all the better to tell stories of ghostly in nature on. Nevermind that when we sleep my siblings and I would argue who gets to sleep in the middle as the position is more "secure" that the ones on the sides. At one point one of the uncles would say .. the first person to get disturbed by "hantu" would be the one sleeping in the middle.. why do we scare the crap of each other and put ourselves through that? well its fun! adrenaline junkies of rollercoaster proportions hehe..

9. Play "police and thief", main galah, hopscotch, play rounders, football (when i am allowed), bike riding you name it we did it.

10. Once my Grandad had a driver who came from Indonesia . He was such a nice man , he came with a wife and 2 kids . They later became fast friends with the fantastic 4 ..once when we played combat (imaginary war combat akin to the tv show) one of the younger indo kids (maman) joined and of course he was in the German army ( the bad guys) he hid behind some bushes and was ready to jump into action when he saw one of the Fantastics and while brandishing an imaginary machine gun he shouted.. AMELITANAAAAAAAA!!! (thats how the army would shout in the Combat show only it wasnt "Amelitana" it was "Americana") he then proceeded to make shooting sounds so thick with the javanese accent that it became "te dus te dus" . Everyone stopped on their tracks and started laughing..yes the Americana's lost that day heheh... so funny lah at the time. We really had a nice time playing with them. I wonder what ever become of them.. Pamol and Maman I still remember their names.

To be continued...

And then there were five..

2008-05-18T13:46:00.006+08:00

ADA CINTA - Stacy & Nubhan

Just when American Idol is drawing to its seasons end so will AF6. Five students made it to the finals whilst stanly was the casualty for the 9th Concert. Judging by his performance I am of the opinion that it was justified as out of the lot he gave the least palatable performance. What was interesting was... Toi came out to be at the top after the concert and stacy came second both at 19%.. I guess thats reality TV.

I was absolutely enthralled by Nubhan and Stacy's duet performance last nite , not pitch perfect but so heartfelt with emotions coming through when they sang it brings across the message of the song.. loved it! My pick for the top 3 would be Stacy, Riz and Nadia in that order! For Stacy I have not seen any AF students tested week after week with different genre of music AND given high packed choreographed performance while singing and excelled .. Riz has shown that he can perform and has a lovely tone and Nadia shows so much promise. Nubhan has an exceptional commercial tone but he needs to find his zone and listen to his teachers.. Angsa and pitch problems is sooo unacceptable.. Toi finally opened his mouth last nite and performed as he should have done weeks before.

Not sure what the finals will bring we do know that Stacy was given a new song again a fast number ..and Riz was given a ballad.. this is gonna be interesting to watch. Can't wait!

David Cook will Always Be My Baby

2008-05-18T13:44:00.001+08:00

This weekend the telly has given us a marathon of American Idol in readiness for the final showdown this coming weekend.. I am sooooo rooting for Cook, I do love Archuletta but somehow Cook hooked me during Mariah Carey week ..he completely masculanized "Always be my baby" something that was to me unthinkable and stamped his personal brand on it ..simply brilliant!

This time round its hard to pick one.. a few seasons back when it was Fantasia vs DeGarmo (sp.?) Fantasia was THE ONE from word go she just showed so much character and her singing was brilliant! Both angelic Archie and Cook have their strenghts both engaging very talented and you can't help but be drawn to them and what really helps is they both look like they are really nice guys!

No matter I am sure the show is gonna be great ..so lookin forward to the showdown and sure will be a happy camper if Cook wins!

Here In My Home - Malaysian Artistes For Unity

2008-05-17T16:57:00.003+08:00

Came across this from Mr.Manager's Blog. I thinks this is a commendable effort plus the video is absolutely fantabulous! Visit the official website here http://www.malaysianartistesforunity.info/ and do spread the word :)

Celebrating life..

2008-05-17T08:45:00.007+08:00

It's my Birthday! ...yes I was reminded by the numerous happy advance birthday wishes ! waking up this morning it felt like today is no different from previous years really but this year however, I feel it is time for a new resolve, a new positioning and new EVERTHING(am badly in need of a makeover , new outfit etc. too!) I need change, I need to re-connect with God and my inner self after being so involved with the goings on of having a baby and crazy workload.I am sad to say I have to an extent let go of myself.. everything is concentrated on what Lil D's needs were and that coupled with Work demands don't give me a lot of time to poor me AND Hubz. I am pretty sure he feels neglected so I am trying to make it right but by first attending to... Me. Hence the need to change.

Growing a year older also seems to put your life in perspective , for me at least now that I have the responsibility of raising another life. Being a parent, wife and a good employee is never easy but is anything easy at all ? there are always elements of difficulty right. Sighs... I still remember the time when friends treated me to a surprise birthday party that was my 15Th Birthday if memory serves me right ahh..those were happy times when everything was simple and straightforward.. despite the goings on in the family I knew I was thought of and loved by those who matters.

Moving away from the mother ship ( about 25 minutes away by Air) with a new family I have had to adapt to a lot of things . A whole new life really and it still takes a lot of getting use to. I guess I adapt well enough seeing that I spent the beginning of my adult life overseas. Then, I enjoyed the single and carefree student life .. I did not miss home as much then maybe because I know I will be returning back home eventually. That's different now.. I am constantly missing the place i called home. There are moments when you smell a certain scent or see and feel something that just transports you back. I miss that little place in the land below the wind..more so now because I know for now or maybe forever, where I am is home with Hubz and lil D. Thank GOD the mother ship is only 25 minutes away by plane and accessible by road hehe.. so Drama lah kan :P but for those who live away from home I am sure has at one point experienced the same thing.

We were dined and feted by the family at Zaika's last nite a sort of Birthday eve and Birthday celebration. "We" because my cousin was also celebrating his 16th Birthday on the 16th May how cool is that .. it was a pleasant dinner, yummy food and loads of catching up (note to self: take loads of pics next time) . Lil D had a lot of fun and had his hands in the cake before we even blew the candle..he later proceeded to lick the blueberry cheesecake from his fingers with relish and a huge smile :). the innocence of a child oh to be child when everything is simple.

I can only thank God that I have been bestowed with life and surrounded with family and friends that matters most . Thank you all for the best wishes, you know who you are!

You Tube"ing"

2008-05-14T19:13:00.006+08:00

One of my favorite to do's to de-stress apart from playing with my Lil D is go to You Tube and search for funny commercials ..Japanese commercials/ game shows /Algorithm march in particular.. that does the trick everytime. Not gonna say much today on account of a sore and watery eye but for your viewing pleasure let me share with you some of my favorites . Enjoy!

Alamak telebih sudah...

2008-05-13T08:00:00.005+08:00

Yes.. I am a fan"ish".. the show used to be such that it gathers families for weekly reunions and get togethers every Saturdays ..it was such a captivating show that when it was over..people wonder what they are going to do on Saturday nights! AF2 (loved Linda and her leaving on a jet plane rendition and the extended huge big AF family that we all love then) and AF3 (loved marsha and her destiny rendition and I guess the whole mawi marsha felix chemistry ...not that into the other girl) .

The seasons 2 &3 I would say was the pinacle of the show after that it went steadily downhill by that I meant it did not have the magic that AF2 and AF3 had. Seasons 4,5 &6 followed and I am still watching.. now I am captivated by how the guys (maybe except Riz minus his "katanya.....walaupun...") are still in the running despite the fact they turned out poor performances week after week .. ok lah maybe the odd praises here and there but what do people see in them ? Now the girls are another story...out of the two I believe Stacy stands out by a mile from Nadia..who tends to do weird stuff with her voice when she performs to the effect that she swallows her words... dont get me wrong I still love her.

What is the point of this post ? none really just something to ponder about.. talent over personality...gender preferences .. teenage girls voting for the boys because they are "cute" not because they sound good or family investing in their kids "future".. it could be other factors of course but what really sticks out like a sore thumb is *drumroll* A.F. is no longer a talent contest (hah .. like u didnt know this already ) its a real live human drama about talented kids , not so talented kids , kid in a wrong competition and another one devoid of any, wrangle week after week to get to the top. Sure everything is done in a friendly manner but thats what it is.. dont we all love drama.

A good watch anyway.. kalau orang marah with any of what is said above..you guys I am sure have your own opinions ..the above is purely my observation.

Alamak telebih sudah.. have a good May 13th.

Frazzled

2008-05-12T13:55:00.004+08:00

Frazzled I am. A wife and a mommy of one who will be entering into the “terrible two’s” in just 3 months .. on the 08.08.08 to be exact! how cool is that .. the Chinese will think this a very auspicious date but a cool date n'est-ce pas? it sure will look good on the cake hehe....

Well I dont really have anything specific to blog about but on this inaugaral posting I will tell you why I am frazzled..my Hubz is so into golf at the moment leaving me a golf widow some Sundays and for sure a few hours after work ends ,leaving me with lil D for a precious few hours to myself.. my question.. why do kids know if you are tired and frustrated from the tonnes of work you just arrive from? they immediately get clingy and cranky nevermind that they probably just miss you as they hardly see you since you left for work poor darling. Lately .. lil D gets nightmares and very often wake me up 2-3 times a nite to comfort him that is on top of his night feed lah. Yes I am sleep deprived..hence frazzled.

What with Work etc. am trying to juggle with life like a gazzilion others like me. That my friends is life as i know it now. Gone were the days of coming and goin home as we please, do as we please. Sleep deprivation +work load + office politics = frazzled Z. Strangely though I will consider myself a contented mom lucky to have an adorable son and loving husband and friends and family to support me when I need them simply love them to bits.

This blog is really about what I go through daily.. not that it would be that much of an interest to most except maybe my nearest and dearest but please indulge me if you care to.